Burnt Plains
Matthias, Tucker, Caboose, Lovam and Andy are walking through some burnt plains.
Andy: Hey, he's been explaining to me everything we should encounter. The legend's pretty old, but the details are pretty clear.
Matthias: Yeah. And everytime it just gets more and more bizarre.
Tucker: Listen dude, I don't care what you say, I'm not killing any monsters.
Matthias: If you become my taster when we get home, I'll slay the creature in your name.
Tucker: Taster as in...
Matthias: *sigh* Taster as in the one who will taste the food I made, and determine whenever it's good or not.
Tucker: Can't you just do that yourself?
Matthias: Dude, once you live a few years on the battlefield, you tend to lose some levels of your taste.
Tucker: What?
Matthias: Think of it this way. Summerize the levels of tastes you can experience in an ascending order.
Tucker: Inedible, disgusting, ew, meh, okay, not bad, good, amazing, fucking delicious.
Matthias: Well, for me it's inedible, good, amazing, fucking delicious.
Tucker: That's rough, buddy.
Beatrice: You don't know the half of it. This one time-
Andy: Hey, don't interrupt! It's hard enough to translate without you two chatting!
Lovam: The teal one must be the one to puts an end to the evil reign of this being!
Tucker: What's he saying now?
Matthias: Basically you gota be the one to kill that thing.
Tucker: Oh, well, if this little quest depends on me killing stuff, we might as well just stop here.
Andy: Eh, don't be a chicken.
Tucker: I'm not chicken. I'm just... okay, I'm chicken.
Lovam: Chicken? What is that?
Andy: A knee-tall nasty little bird. Humans enjoy eating their wings and legs. Along with the white stuff that comes out of their butts!
Lovam: That's disgusting!
Matthias: Wait! It's more complicated than that!
Tucker: What's he saying?
Andy: He wanted to know what a chicken is. I told him it's this nasty little bird that humans eat. And you also eat the white things that shoot out of its butt.
Tucker: You know you could have cleaned that up a little bit.
Beatrice: A little?! How about all of it!?
Andy: I did! They don't come out of its butt, you know!
Lovam: You damn humans are disgusting!
Andy: Heh yeah, they're pretty disgusting.
Tucker: Chickens aren't that bad.
Andy: He was talkin' about you guys. He's not a big fan. I'm not either.
Lovam: Their homeworld must be horrible.
Andy: Yeah. Earth sucks.
Tucker: Hsh, Earth does not suck, Earth rules. We invented the telephone.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/245908749-288-k888584.jpg)
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Red vs Blue Season 4 /w Spartan Matthias
FanfictionSeason 4. The Reds have ruterned to Blood Gulch, while the Blues are under attack by a mysterious figure. Will they be able to defeat this unknown foe? The OCs Matthias and Beatrice are owned by Me. The OC Logan is owned by @flamebaron20. The OCs Da...