Blue Base
Church and Doc are standing inside Blue Base.
Church: Uhh, I don't believe this.
Doc: It's true, your friend Tucker is pregnant. See, my little gizmo lights up green to indicate pregnancy.
Church: I thought it lights up green to indicate flesh wounds.
Doc: Yeah also that.
Church: And infectious diseases.
Doc: Hyeah, it lights up green for just about everything. It takes a while to figure out the difference. (Doc starts using his medical tool.) Like this green, indicates a high level of anger stemming from suppressed feelings of inadequacy.
Church: If that thing keeps talking bad about me, I'm gonna fucking smash it!
Doc: And this green means impotency. Oops, actually that green causes impotency! My bad Church.
Church: Oh, that's okay, I wasn't using it anyway.
Doc: See, these tools can be confusing sometimes. That's why doctors have to go to school for so long. Not that I'm actually a doctor, mind you.
Church: And that's never been more apparent than with this diagnosis.
Tucker: Uogh, what diagnosis?
Doc: Congratulations Tucker, you're pregnant.
O'Malley: Huhahaha, yes, with bastard. Muhuhahahahahaha.
Tucker: It's not mine, I wasn't even in town that weekend.
Church: Tucker don't listen to him, he's a lunatic, man, he's got no idea what he's talkin' about.
Doc: Uh, you want me to go over the green light thing again?
Caboose runs in holding "Andy's" skull.
Caboose: Doctor! Help! My second best friend is dead! Fix him.
Church: Whoa whoa whoa, Caboose, what happened, who's dead?
Caboose: Andy! Andy's dead. Look!
Church: Okay, that's disgusting.
Caboose: Doctor Doc, please help him.
Doc: Uh, I don't know what I can really do to help him, my first aid procedures aren't very effective after decomposition.
Church: Where did you get that?
Caboose: First Tucker dies and now Andy!
Doc: Tucker isn't dead, he's pregnant.
Tucker: It's not mine, we weren't even going steady!
Church: Stop that.
Tucker: Hey look man, I've been saying that for a long time, it's gonna take a little while to get used to this.
Church: You're not pregnant.
Caboose: I was just standing outside the base, and someone told me to turn around and when I did, Andy...
Church: Whoa wait, who told you to turn around?
Caboose: I don't know! But they were very helpful.
Church: And let me guess, when you turned back around, Andy was gone.
Caboose: Yes. He was... gone.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs Blue Season 4 /w Spartan Matthias
FanfictionSeason 4. The Reds have ruterned to Blood Gulch, while the Blues are under attack by a mysterious figure. Will they be able to defeat this unknown foe? The OCs Matthias and Beatrice are owned by Me. The OC Logan is owned by @flamebaron20. The OCs Da...
