Star-Crossed

Part 18

When I wake up, I turn and reach my hand out, expecting to feel Zayn lying next to me. Instead, it is empty and cold. The sheets are wrinkled. Zayn's absence fills the space.

My pod is closed. I cannot hear or see anything, but I can smell breakfast. As usual. My stomach growls. Rye French toast with huckleberry jam and fresh omelets, I guess. Yum.

Zayn must have left in the middle of the night. It would be scandalous for anyone to see us sleeping in the same bed together. Captains can't have favorites. And members of the same Cohort aren't officially supposed to date. So, I get it. But still, there is a small part of me that wishes he were still here.

I lie on my back with my arms behind my head and recount the events of the previous night. My body gets a little tingly thinking about Zayn reaching over to kiss me. It was all so sudden and unexpected.

I touch my lips with my fingers and sigh.

And yet...there's still something about him I have trouble fully trusting. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe it's because I just don't know if I have the capacity to really love or trust anyone again after being kidnapped. It all seems so foolish. This is why I scold myself for the stupid wobbly feelings I get every time I'm around Zayn.

You have got to pull it together, Karina. Your goals in life are bigger than boys. Especially Zayn. Who IS this guy, anyway? You've known him for like five seconds now.

I open the pod door and, as is always the case, the smell of breakfast gently pinches me on each cheek as I slide out of bed.

Then, I hear Xeno making an announcement, "The GST - 53 is scheduled to land on Planet Shinar in thirty minutes. Please be sure to eat breakfast and gather your things for our departure from the spacecraft. Anything that is left behind will be discarded."

I head to the bathroom to freshen up quickly before breakfast. On my way, I bump into Eva and Max. I brace myself for the usual snotty gaze and snide remark. Eva and Max nodded and held up their glasses last night, but they still didn't actually say anything to me.

"Ummm, Karina," says Eva, almost like a question. "That was pretty rad of you to jump into that well of bugs. It still grosses me out that you did that. But like, in a good way."

Max nods and then hands me a piece of paper, which reads, "The bugs didn't gross me out that much, but it was pretty dope of you to go back for Zayn."

I look up a bit weary.

"I mean like, you're kind of a hero," continues Eva. "We'll have such an awesome story to tell everyone on the Squad when we meet them."

"They'll be jealous," reads Max's note.

"Umm, thanks guys," I respond, amused by the sudden choice of "we" to describe the three of us. As if we are now best friends. I'm skeptical but happy that they're paying attention to me. So, I roll with it.

"You should like...sit with us at breakfast today?" asks Eva.

"Sure," I reply. "Let me brush my teeth and stuff and I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Cool," Eva answers and Max nods as they head to the kitchen.

I hurry to the bathroom so I can take a quick shower and brush my teeth. I squeeze into my golden jumpsuit and pack up the few things that I own.

For a moment, I admire the golden ring, encrusted with black diamonds, nestled so perfectly on my finger. I really love how it looks on me. It sort of reminds me of my mom.

I grab the puffy white headphones that Zayn gave to me on Recruitment Day, which already seems so long ago now.

It's crazy how easily we can get used to things. How quickly we forget some. How tightly we hold onto others.