As Cold As Ice // Charlie Gillespie

Chapter 31

My emotions get the best of me for a few moments and I keep kissing Charlie back. I feel like the broken parts inside me are healing but I also know that I'm being irrational. It takes all me strength to move back a little and break apart the kiss. Charlie immediately slides back to where he was sitting only seconds ago. He isn't looking at me when he mumbles "Sorry." I'm so confused by the emotions I just felt being mixed with everything I felt in the past 28 hours. I want to say something but the ringing of my phone stops me. I reach over to my bedside table to pick up.

"Mum?" I didn't realize it's 6:30am by now. "Mia, I'm sorry I can't take the day off today. I'll pick you up right after I finish work, ok?" I can tell she's still disappointed which makes a huge lump build in my throat. "It's fine. I can wait." I thought she is about to hang up when she says "Charlie didn't come home last night." I look up at Charlie. I know he's trying not to eavesdrop but he's so close I'm sure he can hear both sides of the conversation. He looks at me right before I'm about to look away again and mouths I can drive you. "He's with me. He says he can take me home." - "Ok. I'll see you at home then." Without another word she hangs up.

"She's still upset, isn't she?" Charlie's voice is very careful, like I might snap if he says one wrong thing. I really can't blame him after the way I acted when I got my diagnosis. "She has every reason to be. I acted so irresponsible. I risked everything I've worked for because..." I let my voice trail off, just now realizing what I'm about to say. "Because I upset you." When I look at Charlie I can see regret and pain flashing across his face. I carefully lift my hand up to his face. "It's not your fault." For the first time I fully mean it. I should have talked to him instead of running off. I should have trusted him. Deep down I knew there must be more to the story but I still didn't give him the chance to talk to me.

"I should let you get some rest." He's about to get up from the bed when I reach for his hand. "Stay" I whisper. I know I should give myself some time to process everything, what happened with Kaylie, the accident, what happened between Charlie and me, but right now all I want is for him to stay. Charlie lets himself sink back onto my bed, visibly unsure what to do now. As gracefully as I can with my hurting ankle I move myself into a sleeping position, leaving enough room for him to lay down next to me. He must be getting the intention because he does lay down. For a moment I'm unsure how far I can go but then, almost simultaneously, he wraps his arm around me and I wrap mine around him. Like that we both drift off into sleep.

"Good morning Mrs. Carter." I'm so startled by the loud voice I would have fallen out of bed if it wasn't for Charlie's arm holding me. "Oh, I'm sorry." The nurse mustn't have seen Charlie is in here with me when she entered the room. "I was just... I'm supposed to check your... I can come later." I lift myself up onto one elbow, which is really hard in this small hospital bed. "No it's fine." Charlie moves over a little, getting up into a sitting position. "Well, let's start with your blood pressure then." The nurse comes walking over and in the same moment Charlie gets up from the bed and sits down in a chair in the corner, a small smirk on his lips. I can tell the nurse is still feeling a little uncomfortable about the intrusion and I do kind of feel bad for her but it's also a little funny.

"Ok, I'll bring your release papers and then you're free to go" she says after she's done with everything. "Thank you." Once she's out the door Charlie and I break into laughter. "That poor woman" I manage to say in between laughing. Even though we only slept for roughly two more hours I feel really rested and calm. As soon as I'm getting my crutches and have to start walking with them though, my mood changes. For a small moment I forgot that I won't be going back onto the ice for at least five weeks. I forgot, that Kaylie had kissed Charlie and that, even though I know she's the one to blame, I can't get the picture out of my head. I forgot, how it felt when I landed on the ice and an immense pain shot through my ankle. "Mia?" Charlie looks at me, worry in his eyes. "I'm ok. Just take me home." I can't stay in this hospital room any longer.

The whole drive home Charlie and I stayed silent. I could feel him wanting to say something but he seemed to be unable to find the right words. I just wasn't able to say anything so instead I reached for his hand. The second I took it I could see the smallest smile steal onto his lips and that was enough for me. For the rest of the drive the silence wasn't uncomfortable or weird anymore, it was just silence. As soon as I walked through our door the silence was over. Sarah was waiting for us and I did not miss her suspicious look when Charlie helped me inside. Walking with crutches will take some getting used to. Pulling me into a tight hug Sarah whispers into my ear "It's about time you start talking." There is nothing I want more than that.