The Dark Heart(B.Barnes)

33: Who Here Hasn't Been to Space?

{Song: Walked Through Hell by Anson Seabra}

~Edited~

I exit the jet as if I was in a trance. I know a few people called after me, but my ears were ringing and it felt like I was about to collapse. I needed to be alone before I fell apart. My feet take me to the right room without being directed, but as soon as I step inside the air feels different. The air felt colder, as if the absence of him was radiating around me.

I feel a small hand on my back and blearily follow as the person leads me into the attached bathroom and I watch red hair flicker in front of me as Nat bends down and fills the tub up with water before turning back to me. She gently helps me out of my suit before basically lifting me into the water.

I curl my knees up and rest my chin against them as I feel her trying to wash all the dirt, blood, and sweat from my hair and body. I knew the water must have been hot, there was steam floating from the surface, but it felt like ice on my skin. I don't think Nat said anything, if she did I never heard her. But eventually she drained the tub after getting me out and wrapped in a towel.

The next thing I feel is a pile of clothes being pressed into my hands. I look up from the floor and see Nat exiting the bedroom, closing the door behind her. I slowly pull the sweats on and as I move to put on the sweater I smell it. Smell him. Nat had given me one of Bucky's sweaters, and it still smelled like him. I crawled on top of the bed and sat with my back pressed against the headboard, staring straight ahead, and pressed the sweater to my face. This is when I saw the dent in the wall in front of me that I realized we had gone back to the compound and not the tower.

The dent in the wall was the size of Bucky's fist, and has been there for a while. He had punched the wall one night after a bad nightmare. The memory was still fresh in my mind, and as I stared blankly at the wall I could feel it flowing forward.

~~~~~Flashback~~~~~

I had training almost all day with Nat and Wanda, my body felt battered and my energy was sapped from Wanda making me practice our abilities. My body seems to move towards Bucky's room even without me having to decide to go there, it was almost a habit. I've been staying in his room for so long that it's basically considered our room, even the team calls it our room.

He was already in bed by the time I entered the room. He rolls over to glance at me before shifting the covers to allow me to slide into bed, pulling me into him as soon as I had pulled the covers up. I turn towards him and give his jaw a soft kiss before burrowing into his chest and slipping into unconsciousness.

The thing that woke me wasn't the soft whimpers he had been letting out, but the jerking of his limbs as he flailed around. I sat up and felt myself shake off any leftover sleepiness immediately as I tried to untangle him from the bedsheets. His movements stilled as soon as I got his arms freed and I saw his face go slack, then it twisted into something that I haven't seen since we were working for Pierce.

I let out a shocked gasp as his metal hand was suddenly wrapped around my throat. I felt it tighten when I tried to get away so I froze in place. I shift my neck to be metal, allowing air to get into my lungs at a nearly normal pace. His metal hand tries to tighten more but when the resistance from my morphed neck registers, a silent snarl twists onto his lips.

"James." I mutter, placing a hand on his cheek gently. His eyes fly open at the contact and as they take in our position I watch as horror fills his eyes. He releases me instantly and pushes away from me until he is off the bed and standing a few feet away from it. I let my neck return to normal as I push the covers down and move towards him while remaining on the bed.