UNTOLD MARRIAGE ; sunghoon

CHAPTER 32

Guilt.

Rian could see the guilt mixed with something else through his eyes the entire show. Something else that her eyes reflect the entire time.

Pain. But why?

The show came to an end with Rian avoiding Sunghoon's gaze. Because at that time, she wanted nothing but to leave from the venue and just go home.

So he was distant because he has someone else?

She didn't want to think negatively but her insecurities are eating her. Clearly, she's not enough, and people would never accept her to be Sunghoon's partner.

As soon as the show ended, Rian immediately excused herself, telling that she will just go to the restroom and after that, she will go straight to the van that's currently waiting for them outside. Her members agreed and told her to be quick while Eunjung looked at her worriedly.

"Rian, you know, you can—" Though before Eunjung could even tell the younger whatever she wanted to tell, Rian interrupted her.

"I'm fine, Eunjung. I just really need to go to the  restroom. You can go first. "

Eunjung pursed her lips. "What I meant was I also need to use the comfort room. "

Rian faint a smile as she nodded and both of them asked the staff where the restroom is which the staff ended up guiding them to the said area.

Once the two were done, both of them goes to the parking lot and immediately saw the van they rode earlier. They went inside and the van left the venue in an instant.

Rian sighed as she closed her eyes, suddenly feeling dizzy at the moment. She bit her lips, heart clenching from the news she found out today.

So that's it. That's the reason why the issue suddenly died down and her management bringing back her solo activities as if nothing happened. It's because it was announced that Sunghoon is dating someone else. Someone that is not her.

"You okay, Rian? " Yena asked upon noticing the distress on her face.

Rian opened her eyes and looked at her bandmate. "Yeah, just tired. "

That is not a lie and not the complete truth either. Yes, she's tired. Physically. She felt like she's about to collapse at any second. And her mind, the negative thoughts just does not leave her head. Her insecurities are talking to her, mocking her and she just want to sleep to block them.

What if Sunghoon's feelings... already gone?

Wonyoung is so beautiful, pretty, looking elegant and all. Her body proportion is perfect. She's perfect. They look perfect...

Rian's train of thoughts got interrupted when the van stopped just right in front of their dorm. They all said their goodbye to their manager who was the one driving before entering their dorm.

Rian immediately walked to her room and instantly changed her clothes into a comfortable one then removed her make up before she plopped herself down on her bed.

Her eyes watered and stray tears started rolling down her cheeks. It's just that it's a lot to take in. And the fact that she's overwhelmed with lots of feelings didn't helped at all.

She bit her lips and immediately dried the tears when she heard a soft knock on her door. After preparing herself, she told the person to come in. And that person turned out to be Eunjung.

The said idol walked to the bed after closing the door behind her. She sat just beside Rian. "How are you feeling? "

Eunjung knew it's the most stupidest question knowing the situation of their bandmate but she still asked.

"Good. " The younger lied then silence followed afterwards as Eunjung didn't know what to say or to ask at that moment.

Though after a few minutes, a question crosses her mind. So she asked.

"Are you still going to tell him? " Don't get her wrong. She is also disappointed to Sunghoon but after talking to Jay over the phone, she understood it. Though, that didn't lessen the urge of slapping some senses to the ravenette.

Originally, she called Jay, telling him to give the damn phone to Sunghoon but the other said that he already leave the building. So she asked him if he knew something and after lots of persuading, Jay finally gave in and spilled the tea.

"I don't know. Maybe not now, maybe it's not the right time. " Rian answered after a long silence. Eunjung's question just really caught her off guard.

The other nodded, understanding where Rian is coming from. Even though she wanted to tell what Jay had told her, she can't. Because first, it's not her place and second, Jay pleaded her not to. So after encouraging Rian and assuring her that whatever her decision is, that she will always support her, Eunjung left the room; leaving the younger alone. Again.

Though, before Rian could even fell into her thoughts again, her phone lit up as it started vibrating, earning her attention. She reached for the device and contemplated for a second whether to answer it or not. But in the end, she swiped it and placed the device on her ear.

"Hey baby."

She stayed silent, not bothering to utter a reply.

"Can we talk? Please? I'll explain everything, it's not what it looks like, I swear. I'll explain everything. "

"I thought you guys are busy? Tight schedule, remember? " Rian didn't mean to sound mad, she's just caught up with her emotions that she can't help it.

"Yeah, I just talked to manager hyung asking to lessen our schedule tomorrow. "

"Why now then? Why do you want to explain now when you had the chance before? " Must be the emotions fucking up with her system. "Ahh, because I just found out, wasn't it? "

"No, it isn't like tha—"

"Then tell me why only now! "

The other side went silent and that fuels Rian's frustration even more. So she opened her mouths and was about to talk once again but Sunghoon beat her first.

"We were busy. "

"We're busy too! "

Clearly, this isn't something that should be discussed through phone. And both of them knew that. Aware of that.

"Where are you? I'll fetch you. "

Rian's gaze immediately landed on the clock across the room. "Dorm." She answered lowly, and this time, calmer than before.

"Okay. Wait for me, I love you. "

Rian just hummed and ended the call before readying herself.