chapter 19

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After you had changed, you went back to your livingroom, only to discover that Loki was still there. It felt little threatening because your room was still your territory, even though he had visited there before and you two had got little closer over time.
And also now when was the day before full moon or the day when you felt most unprotected, it just made it worse.

"Loki I'm feeling a lot better, you don't need to stay.." you mumbled, trying your best not to sound offensive.
"I know." he replied gently and got up from the couch. He gave you a kind warm smile, before he turned around to leave. He didn't want to cross your lines.

But he didn't get far before he had to rush over to you to catch you from collapsing. "I don't think this is normal anymore." Loki grumbled as he laid you down on your couch. You just growled in return, letting the heat take over your body again. The shower had only helped you for a moment.
"I'm.. fine." you sighed, trying your best to keep your eyes open.
"No you're not." Loki told you firmly while pressing his hand against your forehead. "And you're burning hot." he added, sounding just more concerned than earlier.
"It's just.. the full moon. I'm going to be a lot better by the morning." you still tried to convince him to stop the worrying,
"Just please let me help you, or get someone else to do that." Loki argued. But he was crossing the lines again and you really didn't like it. Especially in that condition.

"No." you replied, but you were already on Loki's arms again and he was carrying you out.
"No.. Loki stop.." you mumbled but the heat had got even worse and it didn't take long before you passed out.

*

You felt a cold bag under the back of your neck as you woke up. The room was way cooler than before and had already made you feel better. You slowly opened your eyes and looked around you. Loki had brought you into his room and apparently got you a bag of ice too. Then you lifted your head and saw him sitting on the other side of his couch, reading his book and sipping his tea. He seemed like he hadn't noticed your awakening before you moved. He lifted his head up from the book and attached his eyes with yours.
"How are you feeling now?" he asked. You climbed up to sit and held the bag of ice behind your neck.
"A little better.." you mumbled and looked at him feeling confused. You had thought that he had planned to bring you to the others instead of his room.
"Would you like some tea?" he asked then and handed you a cup. You looked at it but then refused. Loki just huffed in amusement and laid it back down on the table.

"Thank you for not telling the crew." you said then and gave him a smile in return.
"Of course, I promised I won't let my lady wolf down." he replied softly. But then his smile disappeared as he laid down his book and looked at you very seriously this time. "You weren't like this the last time when was the day before full moon. Is something wrong?" he asked, sounding concerned but also curious.
"No, I don't think so. Every time is just different." you replied, even though you had started to doubt the same as Loki had. It was kind of true that some times were little worse than others, but they never had been this bad.

"So this is just normal wolf stuff?" he clarified and you nodded in return. You didn't want to tell him otherwise, since he was clearly a little concerned. And you wanted to figure it out by yourself first. There had to be something strange going on with your wolf right now. And you had started to doubt that it might had something to do with your old pack.

*

Next day finally came and you had managed to survive the rest of the day before full moon without fainting. You actually found yourself from Loki's couch again since you had been too tired and feverish to walk out by yourself (and also Loki had forced you to stay). But his room was way cooler than the others in the tower so it also had helped you to survive through the night.

"Good morning little wolf, how are you feeling?" Loki asked as he walked out of his bedroom and you tried your best to ignore the fact that he was shirtless again.
"A lot better, thanks.." you replied in embarrassment.

Then you stood back up on your feet and walked over to Loki, who had finally got his shirt back on. "Thank you.. for all of this." you mumbled and rubbed the back of your neck. Loki just smiled in return.
"Of course, I promised not to hurt you." he reminded you again. But you didn't reply anything but just smiled in return.
"I better get going, I need some breakfast." you told him then and walked over to his door, but Loki followed you instead.
"I'll come with you." he told you and before you could reply, he opened the door for you and then headed to the kitchen with you.

"Hey Y/N, feeling better?" Nat asked as you two walked in. You nodded in reply and then rushed to the kitchen to find some food to eat.
"I'll take that as a yes." Tony grinned as he saw the amount of food you were piling up on your plate.
Then you took your place around the table while Loki was still heating his tea.
"Big plans for tonight?" Tony asked then as he put down the newspaper in his hands. You looked up at him your mouth full of food and tilted your head in confusion.
"What do you mean?" you asked then after getting the food all the way down into your starving stomach.
"Well.." Tony cleared his throat a little and took a sip of his coffee.
"We were hoping that you wouldn't go into the woods tonight, Y/N." Steve interrupted. You frowned as Loki sat down next to you and Nat.
"And why is that?" you grumbled and turned to look at Nat who tried her best to avoid the conversation. She took her eyes off her plate and laid them on you.
"We all know what the pack did to you last time you were in there. Even though we tried to find you a safe place to go during the full moons and far enough from your pack, they still managed to find you. We don't think it's safe for you to go there for awhile." Nat explained.
"And we don't want you to find them yourself either. It may had not been so good idea to tell them about our discovery." Steve continued. But you frowned even more in return.
"I had to tell them, I still have my rules I obey. Besides I don't think that any of you have the rights to tell me what to do or not to." you grumbled and you felt your wolf getting angrier inside you.
"We know you have your own rules, but it's still dangerous." Steve admitted as he tried to act like the mother of the team again.
"Maybe you do Cap, but honestly I don't quite understand why you still obey some stupid rules when you aren't even part of the pack anymore." Tony interrupted and turned to look at you.
"They aren't stupid Stark, I have my reasons to obey them and they actually have nothing to do with my pack. But I didn't expect your stupid mortal ass to understand it anyways." you growled and stood up so fast that your glass toppled on the table. You felt how your eyes glowed more yellow as your wolf prepared to protect you.
"Y/N-" Nat began.
"No, I'll do whatever I want and seems to be best for me and my wolf. And none of you can't tell me otherwise." you growled and then glanced quickly at Loki who seemed to be happy with his tea and book and didn't even mind that you were quite furious at the time.

And then you turned around and decided to walk away before your wolf would take the sweet control into her hands.
"Y/N please-" Nat tried again but you were already long gone and pretended to not hear a thing.

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