The Titan Slayer

Chapter 12

*flashback of the night of meeting Levi*

Sitting at their table, surrounded by friends, Anais still wasn’t over the shock of meeting Levi. She thought she would be able to control her emotions better. Anais gritted her teeth as she stirred her soup with her spoon too aggressively. Her other hand restlessly toyed with the hem of her shirt. Using the ODM gear had eased her emotions a little, but not by much. Sure, her expression had returned to normal, but her mind remained an unruly mess of emotions.

When all Anais had to fret about was how to maneuver with the least amount of gas possible, ignoring the disarray of uncontrollable rage was a facile victory. But now, with only her dinner to focus on, Anais’s head pounded too loudly for her liking. Why was he here? Anais thought. It didn’t make sense. Ordinarily, higher-ranked officials of the other brigades didn’t randomly survey the Training Corps. They had other people doing that, right? Anais hadn’t seen anyone come before that short Survey Corps prick.

“Are you okay?” Kellan whispered. He sat next to Anais, and when she lifted her gaze from her dinner, she saw the concern in his sky-blue irises, plain as, well, day.

Anais smiled lightly at him. She debated on whether or not lying was worth it. Or if it would even be effective at all. Kellan was so keen that he was the only person who knew when Anais was lying. “Honestly?” replied Anais eventually. Her voice was quiet, especially amongst the clamor of the dining room. “I don’t know.”

Kellan frowned, his eyes shifting between Anais’s impatient hands. Her smile indicated that she was in top-notch condition, but her body language proved otherwise. Anais could imagine how obvious her agitation must seem to Kellan Allaband. Kellan forced his gaze into Anais’s, holding her stare with a bizarre steadfastness that Anais had never seen. “Does this have to do with Captain Levi?” Well. Kellan was not taking any of her ambiguous bullshit today, that was for sure.

Anais didn’t reply. She turned away, nodding slightly. Out of habit, Anais unconsciously lifted her left hand from her shirt and started fingering the lone earring from her mother. Uh oh. She quickly set her hand down in her lap, but Kellan had detected the action already. His brow gathered, and he tapped his spoon against the rim of his bowl lightly. “I know what that means, Anais.”

Anais winced microscopically. “I know, Kellan. I know.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked sincerely. “We are all here for you, you know. I am here for you.”

“I know,” repeated Anais. She looked up at him, allowing a shard of pain to show in her eyes. For some reason, she felt she could trust Kellan. He had a strange impact on her. It was like she could tell him anything, and her secret would be secure no matter what. After some thought, Anais settled with: “My sister knew him.”

Kellan nodded like he was expecting that answer. “Do you blame him for her death? Is that why?”

Anais’s head snapped immediately to his face, confounded. How did he piece that together so fast? Kellan only knew Isabel died, but he didn’t know how or why. He looked down at her. A lock of his sandy hair fell over his left eye. Kellan wasn’t smiling, but his blue, blue stare was ardent and genuine. “Don’t look at me like that, birdie. Answer the question.”

“Yes.”

“Was it his fault?”

Anais gave him a slight frown. “Are you doubting me?”

Kellan shrugged, his gaze not leaving Anais. “I don’t know what happened. I’m just saying maybe it wasn’t his fault.”

“I guess it wasn’t entirely his fault. But I do blame him,” Anais muttered, remembering the story and all of Isabel’s letters. Her heart clenched so violently Anais had to take several deep breaths to calm herself. Anais looked up and smiled at him, erasing all signs of depression from herself. She tried for a change of subject. “My sister is the reason I am joining the Survey Corps. I promised her. How about yours?”