Chapter 43

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Lenas POV

12 weeks, I am 12 weeks pregnant and I hate it. I hate it all. The sickness, the pain.  I spent my entire life being focused on self image. Now im pregnant and im huge I am even starting to get stretch marks. I won't undress in front of Kara anymore. I knew this pregnancy was going to be hard but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

Jo has been closed off ever since we told her about the pregnancy. Kara thinks it's because she told Jo she was an alien and that has her whole mood down.

I don't think that's it though, I think it's the pregnancy. She seemed happy about Kara being an alien. I mean it is pretty cool. But the baby? She doesn't like to talk about it. Emery is excited though. Every time she sees me she rubs my stomach and talks to the baby, it's the cutest thing ever if I wasn't so worked up on the fact my body is changing to accommodate a baby.

Jo also hasn't been talking to her therapist. She still goes but we were told she wasn't saying anything the entire session she won't even look up at her therapist. We still didn't want to take that away from her though Incase she did want to talk about her feeling so she still goes once a week. Even if she doesn't talk she has time to process her emotions herself.

Being pregnant also takes a toll on my work. I'm supposed to be this hotshot CEO, but what are people going to think when they see I'm pregnant? I can barely even fit into my heels anymore, let alone most of my dresses or suits

The whole house is on edge with Emery being the only genuinely happy one,

I was sitting at the table with Emery as she was eating a snack, Kara and Jo went over to Alex's house. Jo refused as much as she could but Kara practically forced her to go it's almost 9 now and they should be home soon anyway

"Mommy?" Emery says and I look up at her

"Yea love?" I ask

"Why is everyone so sad for?" She ask me. Not really sure of how to have a conversation with a 7 year old

"I think it's just a lot baby, with me having a baby everyone is a little worried" I say, I mean it is the truth

"Why? Is it a bad baby?" She ask me

"No, it's just a surprise" I say and she nods and gets out of her seat and walks over to me and gets in my lap.

"I love you mommy" Emery smiles and plays with the necklace around my neck when the door opens and Jo stomps in followed my Kara who slams the door behind her. I'm sure that door is going to need to be replaced now but we can deal with that later

"Hey! What's going on?" I ask and Emery still clung to me

"I'm sick and tired of her attitude. The silent treatment, the rude remarks" Kara says raising her voice

"I told you I didn't want to go to Alex's, and you forced me to go Kara!" Jo yells and goes towards her room

"Go to your room". Kara says sternly

"Where do you think I was going?" She says and slams her bedroom door,

Emery was whimpering against me, Kara and I have never raised our voices like that at the girls, maybe. Sternly but never actually yelled at them and Jo has never acted like that. And calling Kara by her name? I know that has to hurt her

"It's okay" I try and soothe Emery but she just keeps shaking her head and crying. I picked her up and brought her to our room and into the bathroom to run a bath, still crying and holding on to my shirt I put us both in the bath, as soon as we hit the warm water she calmed down and had her head on my shoulder, our clothes soaked and sticking to us but at least I got her to calm down.

"You're okay" I say pushing her hair behind her hair and rubbing her back

"All better?" I ask and she nods against me

"Why is Momma so mad?" She ask quietly

"Mommas just upset at Jo for being mean, it's okay" I say and she calmed down completely and is back to playing with my necklace

"Ready to get out?" I ask and she nods, I got her undressed first and wrapped a towel around her before getting myself in a towel and put out wet clothes in the bath until I can wash them later,

I walked down to emery's room in my towel while Kara was at the table with her head in her hands, i got Emery an outfit and walked backed to my room,

"Lay down in here okay?" I say and she nods getting under the covers after getting changed, once I got into some clothes I walked out and sat next to Kara

"Hey" I say softly and out a hand on her back

"I'm a horrible mother Lena, I can't do this. Emery looked terrified" she says as tears fall from her cheeks and onto the table

"You're not a terrible mother" I assure her

"I am! I let Jo get under my skin and the attitude the past few weeks I snapped" she says

"And I'm sorry I haven't been helping with that much, the baby has got my mind occupied" I say,

"Jo shouldn't have talked to you that way and you're right. The attitude is uncalled for" I tell her

"I'm sorry" she sighs wiping her eyes

"Don't be sorry Kara" I tell her

"I'm sorry for everything, for getting you pregnant for yelling at Jo, scaring the shit out of Emery" she says, Kara never cusses, I have not once heard a single curse word come out of her mouth

"She called me Kara, Lena" she sighs wiping the tears that keep coming

"I'm going to talk to her okay? Go get in the bath and ill be in there soon, just throw the clothes on the floor" I say and she gives me a questioning look for the last part and I bring her into a kiss and she leaves and I go into Jos room

She was laying on her bed facing the wall and crying.

"Look at me jo" I say softly and sit down on her bed and she rolls over

"What's going on with you lately?" I ask her

Josephines POV

I hate it, I hate me, Lenas pregnant. Good for them I guess but it's all going to change when they have a kid of their own, I'm just the girl they adopted, I'm not actually their kid. Once they have this baby I'm going to be nothing. I ruin everything, yelling at Kara? I would never do that but I did, calling her Kara? The hurt on her face. It's like my mind is saying things I don't want it to say,

"What's going on with you lately?" Lena ask me, I want to tell her what I'm feeling I want to tell her how I'm insecure but that's not what comes out,

"I don't want to live with you guys anymore" is what comes out instead

Till next time ❤️

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