91. the choice

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I always thought about how I would die. What came after...what I would leave behind. 

Everyday of my life was a battle with death. But everyday I won that battle. Was that the case today?

I figured I had to be dreaming, because where I stood right now could not be real. 

Chaos ripped on around me, but it was as if I were a ghost watching from the sidelines. I stood off to the side, watching as Bellamy tried to revive me.

But how could that be me if I was standing right here watching? The body that shook with Bellamy's compressions was me. It had been me. The me who was shot trying to protect her friends. The me who had slowly slipped away. 

I tried to call out to him. To Octavia. To Echo, Hope and Jordan. But no one heard me.

"You're not dead. At least not yet."

My whole body jolted with shock as I turned toward the voice. Someone was addressing me. 

A figure stood next to me. It was Finn...of course it was Finn. 

My brother came to me in all of my darkest and most confusing times. Sometimes his presence was welcomed, other times it was as if he were there to mock me. 

A small gasp fell from my lips, as I knew that if I was seeing my brother, I had to be dead. "Finn."

He shook his head, taking a small step toward my body- the one I had left behind. "I'm not your brother."

I followed after him, my eyes lingering on Bellamy who was still pumping my heart, yelling at Echo to keep pressure on the wound.

The revelation that this was not my brother standing in front of me didn't scare me. In fact, it made me curious. 

"Who are you then?"

The figure turned back to look at me, a simple smile playing on its lips. "I'm the Judge. I'm here to offer you a choice."

"A choice?" I echoed, my eyes studying theirs. "Why do you look like my brother?"

The Judge expected the question. "People are more accepting of those they trust...those they love."

Turning my back to the chaos behind me, I lifted my chin slightly. "What's my choice, then?"

"The human race has been offered a chance to Transcend."

Bellamy hadn't been wrong. Everything he had believed had mostly been true. Instantly, I felt guilty for ostracizing him like I had. 

"Clarke did it?" I wondered, a small glimmer of hope within me. 

I didn't know what Transcendence was, what it entailed. But somehow I knew that it was the ultimate goal for the human race. 

"No." The Judge answered, "Clarke Griffin failed the test. She will not Transcend."

My heart faltered slightly. I hadn't forgiven Clarke for what happened, not in the slightest. But I couldn't fathom the fact that she would die while the rest of us Transcended. 

"How is that possible?" I pressed, shaking my head in confusion. "How can the human race Transcend if she failed the test?"

The Judge, still wearing the face of my brother, looked toward where Octavia was knelt over Levitt. "Humans made the right choice in the end."

Octavia's speech...she did it. 

My throat felt like it was tightening as I tried to register everything I was being told. "What will happen to Clarke?"

"She will live." The Judge answered, clasping his hands together. "Alone. The only human left. It will be a lonely, miserable life."

A ripple of unease washed over me. Would a life like that be better than death? I certainly did not think so. 

Turning, my eyes flickered back toward my body where Bellamy was still pressing against my chest. It was clear he had become tired, but he refused to stop, refused to let anyone take over. Right now, Bellamy was the only thing keeping me alive. 

"And Transcendence?" I asked, turning the idea over in my head. "What does that mean."

Finn-The Judge- smiled. "Eternal consciousness. A life with no pain, no suffering. A life without death."

I nodded, my eyes lingering on Bellamy. "So I have to choose." I concluded. "What happens if I decide not to Transcend?"

"You will live." He answered, a knowing smile tugging on his lips. "You will live a life without guarantees. You will live a life that will eventually come to an end."

I watched as Bellamy continued to pump my chest. His cheeks were coated in tears as he begged me to stay with him. 

"The choice is yours, Avery."

"My brother won't be there if I Transcend." I assumed. "Neither will any of my friends who died."

The Judge nodded slightly. "That is correct. The dead cannot Transcend."

Looking back at my friends, I felt my heart tug. All I wanted was the spend the rest of my life-or whatever it was- with Bellamy and the others. 

Straightening out my back, I turned to The Judge. "I know what my decision is."

He cracked a lopsided smile. "So soon?"

"Yes." I answered affirmatively. 

My choice was easy...one of the easiest I had ever made. 

-an-

dun dun dunnnn

the next chapter will be the last 'official' chapter that follows the show. however, I plan on doing at least a couple more!

love you all!

-maddy xoxo



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