BSD ~ Waffles!! ~ Shin soukoku & Soukoku

10. ~ Foxy methoxy for the mind

A/N: This is kind of an angsty side read. It's a backstory, somewhere from when Ryunosuke was 14. It's still part of the story of course! I wrote this to give more intel on him as a whole and when he was in a much darker and twisted place. And looking back on it now, It's a little too edgy so I'm not really proud of it but...enjoy? I also wrote this when I was in a really dark place so it feels rather revealing-

TW: Suicide attempts, ideations, hallucinations, and mostly just depressing af topics

You could hear the feet making their way up the stairs. You could see the lily white blanket dragging against the stairs. You could feel the blazing sunlight hit you as the boy opened the door to the rooftop. Walking out over to the end of the fences, getting the closest he could, feet hidden beneath the fence. The sky was tinted red, sun setting and hiding beneath the buildings in the city. Compared to the sky and it's color, every building was plastered with depressing colors.

He wished he could escape.

From this world of misery and dull connections to those around you. Despondent people looking for happiness when there is none... This was the best time of the day. When it was a blood red paint...Could the sky ever touch the ground? Perhaps not. The boy, eager and happy to see the clouds fading to that red tint, let go of his blanket, the wind picking it up and taking it up to the sky like a feather. You could see the blanket fade into that red sky.

So the boy wondered.

He wondered what it'd be like to fly up to that sky, and reach the stars so he could become one of them. Because no matter what season it was, no matter what time of day it was, or if he got "lucky" on his popsicle stick...

It was still the same. Something told him whether he liked it or not, he would get taken away from the grey, miserable world he blossomed in.

No dialogue was needed to get that across, not another person, no flashbacks, nothing but the red sky and the city's dull and empty colors was needed.

The soft and lighthearted thoughts of society as a whole, and everyone's true intentions. Were they really ever lighthearted? The people around the boy told him, they told him a lot was going on in his head, and he was maturing and blossoming like a beautiful flower, thinking about life and the world. How time works, how concepts work, and how people work.

But at a certain point

It becomes an obsession.

When someone like this young boy is given the time to think, it can be dangerous for their brain. That's why the people around them have to keep them distracted so they don't end up realizing the truth, the true reality of the world.

Because Ryunosuke,

Ryunosuke didn't blossom correctly.

He was tainted and broken.

An unfixable doll.

That's right...

That's what Ryuonsuke was.

Everyone told him that.

Pathetic, broken, toy.

Self-destructive, poor, foolish, and gullible. Somebody who knew so much to the point they became an outcast.

He was told that multiple times by the people who surrounded him.

Even when he was supposedly safe, that man...That man and that woman still visited him. Standing in the corner of his room, not talking, but staring at him. Using hand gestures in hopes of getting him to follow them. They told him to kill himself, to just jump

"Jump"

"Jump"

"Jump"

"Jump"

That is the only thing they said.

And whenever he did, sure enough, he woke up in an ICU, plugs attached to him like it was some sort of joke. People desperately tried to get him back to life while the boy pretended to be dead because it was easier. And when his heartbeat came back, it was less inviting but more like hearing someone you loved died. It's not like Ryunosuke knew what that feeling was like, but he could guess so. Whenever he looked to that corner, he saw them. Even when he screamed and broke stuff around him, those two still stayed in that corner. During the time he first saw him, he started drawing, but now he began drawing rapidly, every day all the time. He drew and drew. He would draw monsters he saw, and most of all those two people. To a normal person, these pictures were deranged and scarily detailed...When he wasn't drawing, he would get violent because of those two... He was never really scared of them, but every time he grew less aggressive and became deprived of energy and emotion. This was enough for him to go back to the orphanage. Even then, he still contemplated the mere idea of death and life's value. He just grew too lazy to try and kill himself, he'd even forgotten how to.

Somewhere upon that time, he noticed himself being put in a high school because a brunette he'd known forever found his artwork and liked it.

And the events that took place before such were left as a blur. Fading and brushing together into this dark past, it was empty. Everything was so empty. 

Until he showed up.

A/N:

Anyways, just so ya know..this wont make the entire thing depressing. still got tons of more fun content coming up. just this mini side story for now ^^