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Nothing could've prepared me for the gruesome dreams I had after the incident with Negan. He had taken so much from us and now he was taking away my precious. It was starting to become ridiculous at this point. All I ever saw in this nightmares were Abraham and my dad being butchered to death. It was too gruesome. Every single night, I had to deal with this. It had gotten worse with seeing all of my remaining family being killed, Glenn, James, Carl, Maggie, Clem, Rick, Daryl, Michonne, Kai. The bodies would just pile up and all I could do, is watch. I couldn't do anything to save anyone.
I had to explain to Clem and Enid how my dad wasn't coming back. I wasn't expecting Enid to be as upset as she was but I knew that she only started knowing him so she will come to terms with it a lot quicker. Clem's reaction broke me though. She screamed and cried for a few minutes before she just went.. cold. Like as if she was expecting someone to die that she loved. She shouldn't had to deal with that. No ten year old should be faced with the idea of death.
I sighed softly as I heard Kai's cries breaking through my thoughts. I blinked rapidly before looking around, realizing that I was just standing in the middle of the living room of mine and Glenn's house. I bit my lip softly. Everything was currently screaming at me to run. Run far away with the children and hope for the best but I couldn't do that. It would be selfish to leave everyone here to face the danger.
I looked at the cot, seeing that Kai was holding himself, crying loudly. I rushed over to him, my motherly instincts kicking in hardcore when I finally register his cries. I gently lifted him up, patting his back gently as I rocked him gently. It was getting too easy for me to drift off into my grieve. I needed to focus on my children.
I heard the door open and some movements from behind me. I turned to look at Glenn who had entered the house, looking exhausted as hell. I turned back to look at Kai, rocking him gently as I continued to hear his cries. "It's okay, buddy. Come on." I said softly to the little boy as I gently bounced him in my arms.
Glenn walked over. "Need some help?" He asked, moving to stand in front of me. I just shook my head. He just sighed softly. "You know.. we need to start figuring some things out now." He mentioned, making me look at him properly. I just nodded in agreement. Glenn had been doing so much, stepping into my shoes whenever Rick wasn't here because I wasn't mentally all there yet. He had been trying so hard to come up ideas on how we should fight back. The thing was, no one was disagreeing. We just didn't know how to yet.
"I know."
"Rick and Michonne shouldn't be constantly out there trying to scavenge for him." He stated before he moved to sit down on the couch.
I nodded in agreement, glad that Kai had finally started calming down in my arms. "I know."
"We literally have no weapons, hardly any more food- I mean, how can we expect them to do this for us when we are barely surviving." Glenn shook his head in exasperation. He placed his elbows on his thighs, head falling into his hands. "This is such a mess. How were you so able to do things like this before?"
