𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚒𝚒

The Barney War

Barney The Barnabus vs Barney The Bastard. Who would win? 

Well, I'm the best Barney out there and there's no doubt about that *raises brow* Ain't that right??

Let's examine my competitor whom I've given the title of the 'Purple Bastard' who also goes by Barney.

1) He's trouble. I KNEW HE WE WAS TROUBLE WHEN HE WAS PLAYED ON TELEVISION SO SHAME ON ME FOR ALWAYS WATCHING THE RE-RUNS WHEN I WAS SEVEN. I'm not kidding. I actually enjoyed watching that show. Especially when I went to my paternal grandmother's house for the weekend. Tis the dino season

2) Scares the shit out of everyone.

3) Not even human. Possibly extinct!!!!

4) AN IMPOSTER!! I'M THE REAL BARNEY!!

5) N/A

It has come to my attention that I am no longer allowed to discuss this other Barney because- uh *poof* yOu'Re hALLuCiNaTiNg. bArNeY wHo?? tHeRe'S oNly oNe bArNeY aNd tHaT'S mE!

( On a serious note I have nothing against the Barney Dinosaur character. He doesn't creep me out. I mean dark humor is great but have you read Anti-Barney articles?? It's t r i g g e r i n g )

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3 weeks later.... or was it 2? *careless shrug*

I think I think too much about this bastard who doesn't know me. I'm so sick of this dino. I rather be rather be compared to anyone else, but my non-existent legacy started following me, insanity started following me-ee-eee

2 weeks later

I drew something.

I can't draw, so keep your thoughts to yourself.

In fact I don't really like to draw. It's not my thing, but my family thinks so ( partially because they don't know the real me yk ). You know what my thing is? What I find joy in and possibly wish to make a nonexistent living out of? Songwriting. That's what I love.

Anyyywaaayyyss, back to my only-meant-for-comical-relief- drawing of bArNeY aND mE

It's cartoon style btw, like when the head is big and the legs are sMoL

IT'S BARNEY THE BASTARD MEETING THE BEST BARNEYYY *happy noises* WOULDN'T THAT BE FUNNY?? *crickets* Okay *mumble* It wouldn't be *disappointed sigh* 

My writing is usually better but I was sleep deprived that day.

I don't look anything like that for obvious reasons. The hair is somewhat on point except now it's darker- and more hair. Hair for two. At least I won't go bald in the future. 

I drew that way before RED re-recordings were announced. I guess I predicted the future hehe

Want to see something else I made? *screams of no* Yes? Well, you're in luck! *sarcastic 'yay's* It's not a drawing! *sighs of relief* It's an, *whispers to Derren* drumroll please *trumpet noises* Eh, close enough.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ I present to you.... 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤 ੈ✩‧₊˚

Ain't it great?

I wasn't even trying but it actually turned out alright. 

Here are some more pictures of The Purple Bastard because why not?

I don't know the rest of the bastard munchkin dwarf names, except for the yellow one who looks like a rip off of that one carebear. Yellow and wears a red cap too! 

Who the hell is that orange one? I don't recall them at all. Purple Bastard, Green Munchkin and Carebear lookalike don't look scary, but the orange one is creepy af. LOOK AT IT!-

nExT PiCtUrE

A while back I researched the origin of the name 'Barney'. From what I understood is that it's either an English or Irish name. Either way, England and Ireland are both in the UK ( Northern Ireland is ). The name means "comfort". Makes sense I guess.

That is Selena Gomez, right?-

Now something to bless your eyes