An Ocean Away (Mullette- Laff x Herc)

Super special fun times

-Hercules POV-

"GIVE ME ATTENTION LOSERS IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!"

Cue kazoo sounds.

It's actually going quite well. He's found his way onto funky 'uncle' Thomas' shoulders for the time being, leaving me hoping for the love of whatever God there may or may not be that he doesn't pull on Tom's fucking hair.

We don't need a repeat of the last seven incidents involving Thomas, his hair, as well as various people in this party and one elevator somewhere up in New Brunswick.

"Can we have cake dad?"

"Not now, supper first."

"Aw come on Mulligan. Can we have cake?"

I give Jefferson a quick slap on the face after being sure James isn't watching, just to be confronted with the lil gremlin when I turn around.

"Where in the fluff did you come from?"

"You hit Thomas. What the fuck. You don't get to do that, I'm the only one who gets to punish his dumb-assery."

"He's a terrible influence on my child-"

"He's a terrible influence on his own. Trust me, I know. Actually, now that you mention it-"

And then James slaps Thomas and all is well in the world.

Not.

"LAFF GIMME THE DAMN FOOD!"

Wife hurtles over a table, Johnathon lands face-first into it, Laff is unscathed and that is all that matters. Sweep him and the bag of chips he cradles to his chest into my arms, nuzzling into each other reflexively.

"Hungry?" 

"Of course I am, I'm always hungry."

So I get to eat straight out of Laff's hand while John doesn't get shit, that's a win in my book. 

We're the goal couple here, as always, cute as shit and understanding as fuck. Best couple ever I'm sure. With Laff as the sexy smart one and me as... I make pants and eat dirt.

Who am I kidding, I'm an absolute dreamboat.

"This is the best."

"Sure is. Just the two of us. Amidst all this chaos."

"Dad look! Look at what Uncle Thomas got me!"

Oh my fuck- no. Why. Please- why.

It's an Amazon box. Filled to the fucking brim.

With kazoos.

"Thomas you obnoxious prick-"

"Hey now, that's my obnoxious prick you're talking about."

"Thanks fiance :)"

"Did you just say colon bracket I- Americans. But! If that's the case! I'm sure you guys will be overjoyed with the drum kit we have found for your child!"

"Bold of you to assume I won't steal it to play it for myself."

"You know what- it's time for food. Real food. Hercules-"

"Whatever you need from me baby, I've got your back."

"You're on plate duty."

Thrilling. 

I get to take a stack of paper plates. And open them. And then place the stack on the table.

Meanwhile Laff is running around like a party tornado slapping on table clothes single-handedly and arranging serving plates and cake and knives and everything there is to do.