Misunderstood

Chapter Ten Dealing With The Guilt

(Katherine's Pov)

After what happened yesterday I feel really guilty but Mateo keeps reassuring me that he had it coming and my safety comes first.

And at times I believe that and at times I don't I guess the only real reason why I feel bad is because I see the pain that my father's death has caused her. Like she's really torn up about it I mean I would be too if my husband got killed.

And it bugs me like It really bugs me that I feel guilty and have remorse for what happened last night but he has never felt guilt or remorse for what he did to me.

But isn't that how things go? The person causing the pain never feels bad but the person who finally sticks up for themselves ends up feeling bad. Fuck I need a distraction I think to myself and that's when a hear a knock at the door and it's Mateo.

Hey Mateo I'm so glad you're here I need a distraction from yesterday I say to him as I look at his dark beautiful eyes. Hey, beautiful he says as he kisses me on the cheek whatever you need I'm here good because I have a question I say to him as I lead him to my bedroom.

So what's your question? he says as his eyes meet mine I hope you don't mind me asking this but what is it like being a mafia?

Well, he says to me as he takes a deep breath it's not as hard as you may think you see a mafia lives by this code, dominance, supremacy, preeminence, fearlessness, bravery, honour, extreme violence, brutality, murder, silence, secrecy, control, money, power and the most important one of all loyalty.

It's a thing that most if not all mafia's live by when on duty and if you don't then you probably won't survive. So your job is killing people I ask him as I try to take in the information he had just told me.

Technically Yes that's my job but what if somebody kills you? Ha, he laughs no one would ever kill me they wouldn't dare. I love this side of him but I also hate it I love it because I feel safe with him and I know he must trust me if he's telling me all of this but  I  also hate it because when he speaks about killing people he speaks so calm and confident it worries me.

I hope I didn't scare you he says with concern in his eyes I swear it was like he read my mind. You didn't, I try to reassure him I know your good at what you do and I know you wouldn't hurt me.

Oh and I was wondering if you could come to my father's funeral on Saturday I know it may be a weird thing to ask but I'd really like it if you would come.

Of course like I said before whatever you need I'm here. He says as he puts his hand on my cheek and leans for a kiss thanks I say as I kiss him back and it wasn't just a peck on the lips it was everything I hoped my first kiss would be like. It was magical and most importantly it was with Mateo.