Misunderstood

Chapter 13 The Day Of The Funeral

                                                                              (Katherine's Pov)

Authors Note: This chapter is a very long chapter and is a lot longer than the one's I generally write 

I know this may sound really shitty but for my own selfish reasons, I can't wait to get this day done and over with.

Maybe seeing that my dad is really gone and there's nothing to worry about will put my mind at ease I mean at least that's what I'm trying to convince myself. And that's when I remembered I had to make a speech at my father's funeral today.

I mean what am I suppose to say that my father was a wonderful man who sexually assaulted me and I'm so sad that he's gone. No, I'm expected to lie and that's what I'll do even though he was an abusive piece of shit he's still my father whether I like it or not.

I look at the time and realize I had one hour to get ready and prepare a speech so I had no time to waste. I grabbed my pen and started writing a speech.

Instead of writing it about my father, I wrote it about the father I wanted him to be. I know it sounds shitty but if that's what I had to do to write a nice meaningful speech that's what I was going to do and after thirty minutes of writing, that's what I did.

Now that my speech was done it was time for me to get ready so I grabbed my long sleeve V-neck black dress and put it on. Honey, my mom calls out it's time to go okay mom ill be down in a minute just let me get my shoes on.

I say to my mom as I put on my heels and lock my bedroom door. As I get into my mom's car and look at the empty seat beside me I can't help but regret telling Mateo to meet me at the funeral instead of driving with me there.

I regret it because I know how comforting he'd be and how safe he'd make me feel but that doesn't matter what really matters is that Mateo is going to be there at the funeral with me.

Standing by my side like he always does but before I could finish my thought my mom tells me that we have arrived and that we need to wait for my father's friends and family to get here.

While I waited for everyone to arrive I look at my speech and read over it in my head and the more I read it the more I felt disgusted in not only my father but myself as well.

Because in some way I feel like I could have prevented this whole thing from happening but it doesn't matter how much I think about what could have been if I had done things differently because the truth is I didn't do things differently and thinking about it won't change that.

As I continue to overthink and read my speech I smell a strong but nice cologne and as I turn to my head to see who was wearing the cologne I hear a deep attractive voice say Hola Mi Amor.

I knew who that voice belonged to I knew it belonged to Mateo so instead of saying hola or hi back I just hugged him.

How are things holding up he says to me as he looks up at me and holds my face better now that you're here I tell him whole still staring in his eyes but instead of responding he just looks up at me and smiles. So is this the famous Mateo that has been making my daughter smile? My mom asks as she walks towards me yes he is I say to my mom with a smile.

Hi, Mrs. Van Der Woodsen, I'm so sorry for your loss he says sincerely this was surprising to me for two reasons one because he was so sincere even though he killed my father and two because he was so calm and formal and that was new for me.

Me too my mother responds with a frown on her face but on another note thank you for making my daughter so happy my mom says as she walks away to greet the guest.

An hour later all the guests finally arrive and that's when I feel my heart skip a beat because I knew I was expected to get on the stage a lie about how good of a man my father was it was like Mateo could see my heart jumping out of my chest because I soon as I felt upset Mateo would hold my hand and tell me to squeeze it.

And just when I thought the stress would go away It was my turn to say my speech as I got up from my chair Mateo kisses me on the hand it says it's going to be okay I'm here and with that, I got up on stage and started my speech.

" What I learned from my father was that life is short and often brutal, and the best way to combat all that is with a good laugh and the ability to enjoy the small moments of joy despite any circumstances."

My father meant everything to me he was my rock, my role model and my hero and with that being said I want to let everyone know how much I appreciate you all coming out here today to remember my father Mark Van Der Woodsen.

I know he would have been so happy and honoured to know how many people cared enough to be here. As I sat down after finishing my speech I hear a voice whisper " you did good babe"

Before I could say thank you, Matteo kisses me on the cheek as my mom lets everyone know it's time for my father's burial.