Admit Defeat (TMR fic 2)

Chapter 11

(song~)

"I dreamed about my mom last night," Thomas says. We're still lying on the bed.

"Wait, really? Was it a memory?"

"Yeah, I think so. Do you think it's because of the Changing?"

"It must be," I answer, "because I had a memory last night as well."

"Really? What was yours about?"

I sigh a bit. "WICKED. It was... proof of what they do. They find every emotion and edge that they can to manipulate us and use it against us. I bet Alby frustrated them to no end. The only way they could control him was by making him choke himself. Well, that and his fear."

This is why I have to be fearless. I have to be strong because they'll use any weakness to hurt me.

"Could they control me?" Thomas asks.

I laugh a bit. "Of course. You're nice, and you make friends. They'll use that." They'll use my friends against me, too. I keep talking. "The only way to stay safe is to not have any feelings at all. Not fear, not love, not loyalty. If you are willing to let them take everything from you, then there's no way they can threaten you into obedience."

He frowns, but doesn't respond.

I wonder what I would do if they pushed me. Would I let them hurt the others? Do I want to break away from their control that badly?

And am I a bad person if the answer is yes? 

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A/N: Such baby chapters :(( They so smol :(( It honestly drives me crazy, but idk how to fix it when I just want short scenes and I've always been splitting scenes into different chapters...