Admit Defeat (TMR fic 2)

Chapter 45

"No sign of them," Minho tells Jorge, who sighs. We'd split up into a few groups to comb the city. Newt and I were with Jorge, but we'd been just as unsuccessful as the others.

It had been awkward being almost alone with Newt, but it had happened rather automatically. We still want to protect each other. It scares me, knowing that it's my weakness, my Achilles Heel, but I can't fight it.

So I numb myself, focusing on my goal. Find Thomas. Find Thomas and get the Gladers out of the city so I can finish with my plan. Find Thomas.

It's easier said than done. The Cranks have a surprisingly workable society. They bargain and argue and get along decently well as they wait for death. We get some more water supplies from some of them in exchange for some of our food, but mostly we hunt for information.

While the other groups of Gladers are searching more manually, Jorge knows how to get people talking, and how to search for the gossip that could lead us to Thomas and Brenda.

That's how we eventually figure out where they are. A couple Cranks start boasting to Jorge about the boy and the girl they have drugged in a basement, and he plays along long enough to figure out where they are, even though I can see his knuckles are white from how hard he's clenching them. He's obviously furious at their treatment of Brenda. As soon as they mention a place he apparently knows, Jorge whips out his knife. They try to get away, but their guard was down. Jorge kills them both where they stand.

Newt flinches as Jorge slits the second one's throat. I want to be scornful that death bothers him. I want to laugh at the fact that he's weak. No, not weak. Human. Why do I want to attack him for still having a heart?

Because... because pushing him away is destroying mine. I'm broken. All the more reason I need to die, need to throw myself into a cause so that at least I changed something for the better.

If I'm twisted beyond humanity, then let me die like this, making up for some of my wrongs.

I grit my teeth.

"Let's go get Thomas back," I growl, and Jorge nods.

"I agree. It must be them. I know the Cranks that captured them. They're trying to party away their last days. They'll be perfectly happy to hurt Thomas and Brenda, but they'll run like cowards if we put up a show of force. Where do you think the others are?"

I think through which direction each group had gone in, and start leading Jorge and Newt in a route that should run across them.

In the back of my mind, though, I hold on to where the rooftop is. The cans of gas are up there. I need them. It burns in my head as we see Gladers in the distance.

"You guys plan," I say as soon as we've found both groups. "I need to go do something really quick."

Newt gives me a suspicious glare. "I'm coming."

I match his expression fiercely. "No, you aren't. It's not sunset yet, the Cranks are still mostly sleeping. I'm staying out of the tunnels, and only taking routes we've already been through. I'll be fine." It isn't strictly true – I'll be taking a few new paths if it all works out – but he doesn't need to know that.

"Don't take too long," Jorge says. "I don't want to have to look for you, too, mujer."

"Yeah, yeah," I say, and wink at him. "I saw a map. You know I'll be fine." He grunts and hands me one of his knives again as protection. I nod in thanks and turn quickly, not looking at Newt as I jog into the late afternoon light.