Morning comes too quickly. Our time is almost out, our day is almost over. There's something harsh in Newt as the sun rises and we follow Jorge into the city to search for Thomas again. His jaw is gritted, his eyes blazing as he looks around.
He's scared. He knows me better than I thought, and he's scared. His hand grips mine just a bit too tightly, and when he kisses me in an alleyway he's just a bit too fierce.
He knows.
I have no way to comfort him. I have no way to comfort myself, either. It burns at me like acid, painfully eating away at my resolve. But I will not change my path. I am Ash. I am fire.
I don't look at my watch, but I know. I know when our time must have run out, our day long over. Newt doesn't let go of my hand, but he doesn't look at me, either.
So we walk, trailing behind the Gladers, an ocean of unsaid words pushing us apart. Should I have told him that it was my nightmare, too? Should I open my mouth and say that it's killing me as much as it's killing him?
But I can't.
He'd use it to persuade me, and I'm too weak to resist him. So I pretend that I don't mind, that my heart doesn't ache with the loss of the moments I had with him, the time I allowed myself to be in love.
We pass another plaque with Thomas's name on it. It's a reminder that WICKED is here, too. Watching. Always.
I let go of Newt's hand.
He lets me.
My heart shatters, but I keep walking.
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Admit Defeat (TMR fic 2)
FanfictionThe more Ash remembers, the more she pushes people away. Having friends is dangerous. Being close to Newt? Unfathomably risky. She has to choose between those she cares about, or staying safe from WICKED's manipulation. As We Watch the World Burn b...
