Admit Defeat (TMR fic 2)

Chapter 41

Newt is way too excited about sitting around on a rooftop in the middle of a city of insane people. It's a large, fairly flat area shaded by two nearby buildings and a piece of fabric stretched across some beams running between them. He's humming as Minho and the others leave.

"What song is that?" I ask, lying in the shade on the gentle slope of the wooden roof. I don't recognize the tune.

"I think it might be titled Admit Defeat," he answers. Then he smirks at me. "I'll get you to admit defeat someday, Ash."

I grunt noncommittally. "Sing out loud and I'll consider it."

He lies down next to me, his arm brushing against mine.

I know it's been a week, I know it's not been long
But I'm already past the point of no return
I've got you on a loop, I've got you in my head
A chemical reaction, a flashback to your bed...

I'm starting to realize what he means by getting me to admit defeat. He wants me to surrender. He wants me to need him so badly that I don't pull away again.

I want it, too.

So tell me when you're out
And tell me where to go
Of course, you have my body
But now you've got my soul
You drive me to distraction, run me off the road
You crash into my mind, I'm ready to explode...

I only realize that I'm leaning into him when his hand steals up and strokes my face. We're so close, and I'm shaking, although I can't tell if its because of the way he's staring at me or because of the scorpion.

You stirred somethin' in me
I admit defeat
Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight, so
Wrap yourself 'round me
I admit defeat
Won't be thinking 'bout anything at all tonight but
You, oh, oh...

When his voice fades out at the end of the song, he kisses me. I kiss him back, hyper aware of how gentle he is, the way his hand runs through my shortened hair, the solidness of his heartbeat that's going as fast as if he was running the Maze.

I'm in love with Newt. I shouldn't be. But I don't have the strength to fight it. Not for today.

One day of being together.

One day, and then I burn alone.

At least now I don't have to fear WICKED manipulating me.

I can be as in love with him as I want because I'll be dead before they can hurt me with it. I tangle my hands in his long hair and pull him even closer, despite the heat of the day. He probably thinks he's winning our bargain.

He isn't.

~~
A/N: here it is again, the Bastille song that inspired this story's title~