The Boy I Knew

1. A Memory of Home

(Quick A/N: This story very loosely follows the AOT storyline. I only plan on mentioning a few major events, but will make a note in each chapter that has spoilers.)

A lot of things these days bothered you: the yelling, the fighting, having to work when half of the houses down the street and beyond the wall have been turned to rubble. You had faith in what the Scouts were doing, but titans were big and people could only do so much. You've stayed inside Wall Rose for the past four years now, tending to those injured from the initial assault and the following aftermath. The stress has finally affected you enough to influence your dreams in an attempt to get rid of itself.

Each one reminded you of home and the people who you left there. There were days you regretted moving to Trost, but at least you were still inside Wall Rose. In fact, you didn't leave it much these days. Things weren't like they used to be. You miss being able to leave, even if it was just to go to Shiganshina to see friends.

Days blurred together and it seemed that the only thing that changed were your dreams. Especially ones that had him in it. He had been on your mind recently, so he frequented your subconscious more. You missed the conversations and the childhood that seemed to disappear further into the recesses of your mind.

____

Blue skies matched blue eyes, ones that stared at you with an intelligence yet begging for an answer to their question. The wind was cool against your skin as it brushed through the wild flowers that surrounded you both. You spun a dandelion between your thumb and index finger as you thought about everything that he had told you. And it made too much sense for you not to believe him.

"You know I do." Erwin had been going on and on about him and his father's theories and ideas for the past week. "But you shouldn't go about telling everyone this kind of stuff." You were just kids, but what he was implying could get him and his father both in trouble. Even you knew that.

"Thank you, Y/N. I knew I could trust you." He was right, despite what you said going in one ear and out the other. His voice was full of relief, something that brought a small smile to your face. He wouldn't admit it, but he needed someone to believe in him. No one else would listen to what he had to say and you knew why. No one wanted to get into trouble. Silence filled the void between you two as you watched the dandelion seeds fly away, a wish spent.

Tossing the empty stem aside, you plucked the closest flower to you and placed it behind his ear when he wasn't looking. His cheeks turned a very light shade of pink, out of shyness. You didn't get much time alone, but your friends couldn't meet you guys in the field today. Secretly, you were thankful. With school ending soon for the both of you, you didn't know if you were going to part ways. And, if so, you didn't know for how long. In the meantime, you watched the sky as a flock of birds formed a "V" in the sky above you two. Sometimes silence was more comfortable when you didn't know the future and you didn't want to say goodbye.

____

Dust hung in the pale golden light as birds chirped. It was the small things that reminded you of the memories of home; a place and people you wished you could go back to. You had heard through the grapevine that Shadis had made Erwin the next commander of the Survey Corps. You were proud of him for becoming so accomplished, you just wish you guys hadn't of drifted apart. Especially after his father's death, though most continue to say disappearance, but you knew the truth.

The bird's song was a welcomed start to your day. It filled the silence of living alone with warmth. While Erwin was pursuing titans beyond the walls, you were desperately trying to become a doctor and moving out of your parent's house. It took you four years just to do the latter and even now you live alone in a small house on the outskirts of Trost. Your parents didn't care for your decision and frequently begged you to come back, but after the Colossal and Armored titans showed up almost five years ago, you couldn't just sit around any longer. Dreams of working inside Wall Sina in a nice doctor's office were replaced by the want to help people.

Trost frequently came under attack from titans, so it was where you were needed the most as someone in the medical field. Even though you weren't a full fledged doctor, you didn't deter people from calling you such. It wasn't about your ego, but rather keeping panic down. People were more receptive towards people who were doctors than those who were just nurses. So now you have a nice view of a fifty meter tall wall out of your window. The birds had fooled you into thinking you were back at home with access to a field of flowers and a boy with eyes as blue as the sky.

Making your way into town, the sky was the only thing that distracted you from bleak stone and red gabled roofs. It was dreary, especially on the days it rained. You wouldn't lie, you did miss home and would write to your parents often, even if it was just to complain about the rain. Passing by more and more familiar faces on the way, a smile kept on your face to be polite. You were hungry and needed food to stock your pantry. Grocery shopping felt like it took all day and wasn't worth the effort half of the time. Though, every now and then you'd get glimpses of the Scouts as they returned from missions and you never stopped hoping that Erwin would pass through.

And today seemed to be your lucky day. You were gliding your hand over a loaf of bread, deciding that sandwiches would be the easiest to take for lunch for the rest of the week when a voice caught your attention. It wasn't directed at you, but at another vendor nearby. It wasn't the voice you remembered, a deeper baritone, but it was familiar enough to catch your attention. He looked tired and wore the Scout's green cape. You couldn't tell what the vendor was selling, but you could guess it was food. You paid for the bread and made your way over to him.

Scones. There looked to be five or so different kinds and he seemed to be deciding what he wanted. They weren't on your list of things to get, but now that you were over here, you couldn't help but not be tempted to buy one... or a few.

"I'll get two of those." You spoke up from behind Erwin, spooking the vendor a bit. Guess he didn't hear you come up with the noise of the crowd. You peaked your head around his arm to smile at the vendor who returned the gesture. His eyes met yours and it took a moment for them to register who you were. A small smile brightened his face. He wasn't the boy you remembered, his jawline was more chiseled and he was more fit than the last time you saw him.

"And I'll pay for his, too." You turned back toward the vendor as he handed carefully wrapped pastries over to you. You hoped that he didn't notice you checking him out, but you've never been good at lying or hiding things. Especially not from him.

"You don't have to do that." His voice gave you chills. It wasn't like you remembered; it was deeper. Butterflies filled your stomach. You didn't realize you'd be this giddy to see him again.

"Oh, but from what I hear, you deserve it." You gave him a sweet smile and for a second, you thought you saw a faint blush on his cheeks.

"And from what people tell me, I haven't." He took the scone from the vendor and stepped out of the way of others. You gave him a sympathetic smile. You've heard what people have jeered about him, too, but you won't let that ruin the mood.

"Well, maybe you can stop by some time. I'm here in Trost now, as a nurse."

"I would love that." You gave him your address. "Are you free this Friday?"

"In the evening, yes." You gripped the basket to keep your excitement from showing at his offer.

"I'll stop by around seven, then. It'll be nice to catch up, take a break."

"I'll be waiting." Your voice was an octave higher than normal and you noticed a moment too late. He gave another small smile.

"I'll see you then." You watched him walk away. Feelings that you had buried resurfaced in full force. You couldn't help but notice that he wasn't the boy you remembered growing up. He had lost some of the joy that used to light up his eyes