The Boy I Knew

15. Absence

Start writing your story

Erwin's POV

He knew that it would have only been a matter of time before Y/N found the letter and now she was gone. He had wished that she had come to him about it instead of leaving. He felt betrayed and hurt. She not only left without talking it out with him, but she took off with Eren, also. It left him without answers and made him feel hopeless.

What hurt him the most, however, was not knowing if she was okay or not. It had been reported that guards stationed at the gate to Shiganshina saw her leave with him in tow, meaning that they were both in danger. It worried Erwin to no end and had kept him up these past few nights. Had he done something wrong to make her act like this? The notebook she had left underneath the letter held every memory from their childhood. He knew she did it as a response to the letter he left her; having it tucked away in the back. It had been left like she was saying 'goodbye' for the last time.

It was his only priority now: to get her back. Make sure she was unharmed. Tired from the lack of sleep and over working, he watched as rubble was removed from the house that Eren had lived in before the breach. He didn't have the key anymore to get into the basement, but that wasn't going to stop him. The more he knew, the better a chance he had at finding them. Thanks to Connie, he now knew that titans were created from people, which meant that there was an outside force causing it to happen. And with any luck, Eren's father had knowledge that others didn't.

Eren, who still had the key around his neck. Y/N, who still had the sunflower around her's. But he was getting in this basement with or without it. Even if both Levi and Hange were against it. This whole mess had taken something precious from him. And he planned on using Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt to the best of his abilities.

When Eren was taken, they had no clue and were left by whoever sent them here. Or at least that's as much as he was able to get out of them until they stopped talking. While Annie was still in the crystal, Reiner and Bertholdt had tried to run when the search party was sent out. When they figured out they had been abandoned, they had stopped fighting. With any hope, he'd get something from them soon.

'I promise to hold you again, if it's the last thing I do.' He kept his thoughts to himself as he watched Levi kick down the door in front of them.

——

Six months later.

His absence was starting to wear on you, the longer time went on. Thanks to Yelena's help, who had seemed way too enthusiastic to follow Zeke's orders, you had adjusted to Marley well. Marley was both exciting and scary to you, and with as much as you were learning about this new place, you were eager to get back to Erwin and tell him everything you knew. 'After I apologize.'

More than anything, you wanted to apologize for all of the shit you've caused. You regretted turning Eren over yourself and not waiting for him. And for fucking around with Miche, who turned out to be a jackass. You wanted to make everything up to him, no matter how long it took. But now wasn't the time to think about that.

The plan played through your head again. You'd be here in Marley long enough to finish it, or at least part of it. It was explained to you that there were nine titans, and that Zeke wanted all of them for himself, whether that be as an ally or for his own use. On the promise that you'd be an ally, he'd let you have one of them. Warhammer, who was currently held by the Tybur family and had been for years. The past six months had been you learning about Marley and worming your way into the family's good graces and now you felt comfortable enough to take Warhammer for your own.

You didn't plan on going through with the plan that Zeke had come up with. He had wanted you to wait a little bit longer before taking it from Lara, so that he could be there when it happened. However, you managed to grab the vial of serum that was going to be used to turn you and now you stood in front of the Tybur estate in the middle of the night. You watched as the light in their kid's room turned off as they went to bed, signaling that Lara herself was about to do the same.

With not much time to spare, you made your way to the side of the house where the kitchen was. There was a place to bring in food, almost like a maid's entrance. Where your plan differed from his was that you planned on kidnapping Lara like you did Eren. You'd take her to a separate, remote location to take the titan from her. Which still grossed you out because it involved eating her, and then getting her memories. From there, you'd be able to leave Marley.

How? You were still trying to figure that out. Maybe you'd sneak out on a boat in the early morning hours before anyone woke up. Unlike with Eren, this plan was formed in a very short time span. Speaking of Eren, you'd need to take him with you, but you had no clue how. You knew where he was being kept, but it won't be easy getting to him.

'Focus.' You reminded yourself. You had a task to accomplish. You'd figure out the rest later. The house was quiet and dark. Having been invited over to dinner on a couple occasions, you managed to find your way around the kitchen and to the stairs that led to the bedrooms.

"Is someone there?" Lara's voice called out. 'Fuck.' You had expected her to be in her bedroom already. Pushing yourself up against the stairs where she couldn't see you, you watched as light slowly made it's way down them towards you. Conveniently finding a vase filled with flowers, you grabbed and dumped it at your feet. The noise made her stop.

"Hello?" She called out again. Wielding the heavy vase in both hands, you watched as she stood looking around at the bottom of the steps. Thanking whoever made her do it, Lara turned the corner towards you and headed for the kitchen. Quietly as you could, you crept up behind her and hit the nape of her neck with the vase. Startled, the lamp she held clattered to the floor as a hand shot up to her head. Sparks flew as the glass broke.

Thinking quickly, you began hitting her repeatedly while wishing you had the chloroform instead. You didn't know why she didn't turn to fight you, but you're thankful she didn't. Lara was proving difficult to take down. You could hear footsteps in the hallway above you. In a panic, you threw the vase down and slapped one hand over her mouth and the other in her hair. Kicking her feet out from under her, you dragged her back from where you entered.

There was no way to close the door behind you as you left, so you did your best to get as far away from the house as possible. You'd just have to do it here. Dropping Lara down behind a bush in her garden, you pulled out the syringe and shoved it into your thigh. You watched as the liquid entered your system before throwing it and the box it came in aside. Biting into your hand hard with your canines, you managed to make yourself bleed. Waiting for something to spark in you, you sat there straddling Lara, choking her with your free hand.

"No..." Frustrated that it wasn't working like it was planned, you stared down at the brown haired woman below you. Behind you, you could hear her husband's calls for his wife.

"Not going as planned?" She chuckled, effectively pissing you off. You punched her - and hard. Whatever was in that punch must have done the trip because lightning shot from your hand and you blacked out. Thanks to Zeke's info, you knew you'd black out and have amnesia from the event, you just hoped that nothing interfered with you killing Lara.

----

The room was dimly lit and the musty smell of it made you queasy. Sitting up, you looked for a bucket or something to relieve yourself in. After finding an unused chamber pot, you allowed yourself to sit on the edge of the bed. Not knowing how long you had been out, you hoped that you being awake meant that Lara was dead and you had Warhammer. Your eyes adjusted to the low light, finally allowing yourself to take in your surroundings. The brick work and iron bars seemed like the familiar jail cells of Paradis, but you had no clue how you got yourself here. 'Is this all a dream?'

"Y/N?" Your heart skipped a beat as you searched for its origins.

"Erwin?" He sounded so tired. Like he hadn't slept in days. Seemingly out of nowhere, he appeared at the bars that kept you apart. You all but leapt out of bed to greet him. Dark circles ringed his eyes and stubble kissed his cheek.

"I'm so extremely sorry for what I've caused you." You cried to him, relieved to see his face. Reaching out to cup it, he backed away. Hurt, but understanding, you didn't say anything. Begging, "Say something. Please! Anything!"

"Your absence is killing me." The further he backed away from you, the more he faded from view, like a hallucination. Nothing was left but dark that consumed him.

"Erwin!"