The Boy I Knew

2. Hello, Butterflies

The week came and went and Friday snuck up on you. Having not been out with anyone other than friends, you struggled with what you were going to wear. This man had known you for almost your entire life, yet you somehow felt like you needed to impress him.

You kept things simple with one of your casual dresses. White and green with embroidered flowers. He was just coming over for dinner and to chat, so there was no need for something fancy. Right? "I don't want to overthink this." But overthinking came naturally to you.

You managed to cook enough food to feed an army and now it seemed like too much. It was too late to turn back now, though. Erwin politely knocked on the door, allowing you to let him in. It took you aback how stunning he was in a button down shirt and black slacks. He even went out of his way to get flowers: a collection of yellow, pink, and orange peonies.

"I hope I'm dressed appropriately?" He inquired, giving you a smile.

"Absolutely. It's just dinner. Nothing too fancy." You grabbed a vase for them as he came in to give them to you.

"It's a nice place you got here, Y/N."

"Thank you. I was glad to finally move out, but it's been nonstop work as of the past few years. Where's your place?"

"Well, I still have my dad's old place, but most of my time is spent at my office. What do you do now that has you so busy?"

"I'm a field nurse and came here after the breach almost five years ago, thinking that people needed my help. And I was right." There was a sad gleam in his that left just as fast as it came. "So you're the new commander, huh?"

"I am. Shadis handed the job down to me before the breach."

"It must be hard." You sat down and gestured for him to join you. You became elated when he sat down beside you.

"It is." His sigh sent shivers down your arms. It was a strange part of you that wanted to hear it more. You didn't know if you had felt like this when you knew him as a kid or if you were just more attentive now that you had been alone for four years.

You had been right about the food having been too much. You overcompensated in your nervous excitement and now you were left with too many leftovers. After two hours of casual chatter between the two of you, dusk decided to end your dinner earlier than you had wanted.

"I enjoyed the evening." Erwin seemed more... relaxed than he did when he showed up.

"So did I," A whimsical feeling fluttered in your stomach. You had forgotten what it was like to be around him. The intelligent boy you knew turned Commander. You had never assumed he'd take the position, but after tonight you had no doubts that he was capable of handling it. Shadis knew what he was doing when he assigned him the job.

"I'll see you around?" He took your hand gently, his way of saying goodbye.

"You know where to find me. Pop in any time you want." Please. The warmth of his hand kept you from letting go. Boldly, you placed a kiss on his cheek. To your surprise, he didn't shy away. There was a moment of awkward silence as he looked down at you, unsure of what to do and a little tense.

You let go of his hand and turned to grab the plates, in hopes that maybe it would break some of the awkwardness. You didn't regret kissing him, but you do regret being too forward. Your excitement got the better of you. He may not see you romantically like you see him. It didn't come up in conversation whether or not he was single, you should have asked...

He broke your train of thought by placing his hand on your cheek. Guiding your head up towards him, he leaned forward. Neither of you said anything in the short moment before your lips met, but it felt like he knew what you were thinking. It wasn't like you thought it would be, it wasn't like anything you'd experienced. Sure, you had kissed other people before, but it didn't feel quite like this.

The silence in the room was loud, all sounds outside the house had dimmed, and it was just you two. Alone. Beyond the silence was a calmness and it made you want to say 'at last.' You hadn't imagined that, if you had ever kissed him, it would be holding dirty dishes in a quiet room. When your lips parted, he backed up and left the warm feeling of his hand on your cheek.

"Thank you for dinner, Y/N. Good night." He gave you a smile, but his tone was deadpan as if nothing happened. He showed himself out before you could say anything.

"You're welcome. And thank you for the flowers—" Hello, butterflies. Ripe with childlike giddiness, you finished cleaning the kitchen with a smile on your face.

It was like he left as soon as he came back into your life. The kiss made you forget the time you spent catching up with each other's life. Like you didn't need to at all. It was like he never left. It left you wanting more of tonight in a way you couldn't explain.