Chpt 10: Lairs

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Yoongi,

It's not that I didn't want her, and it's not that I didn't want you to have her. Yet seeing both of you there staring at one another, I felt myself fill with jealousy knowing you'd do what you can to love her but hold everything back to let her go. Then that's when guilt kicked in as I saw you read her looking to see if she at least looked at you with a bit more feelings than she showed, you searched for love knowing you wouldn't find it but you still searched. I looked at her grave and sighed as I laid down the her favorite flowers as I always did every weekend, still I looked over to still find you too together. I want to read her the way you do, I want to love her the way you find yourself to love her everyday, I want to be able to let her go because of how much I love her. Yet instead I can't read her the way you do, I can't live her as much as you do everyday, and I can't let her because of how much I love her. We continue to hurt ourselves just to see each other fall back to where we started, and I remember that day and it felt just like this one.

(Our one month anniversary)
"Y/n!" I yelled for you as I looked around waiting for you to show up for our date but you didn't, I ran around with the flowers I had gotten yet I wasn't able to find you. Then there you were your hand in Yoongi's as I watched from a distance feeling hurt that you went for him before you even made it to me, I read you both like a book both of you feeling love for one another but you pulled yourself away and shook your head.
"I love Taehyung, and I'm not changing it." I put the flowers down watching you both as yoongi didn't let go of your hand, you kept denying it but your words sounded false and your eyes read differently. I moved away dropping the flowers in the trash, "Tae!" Jimin shouted as I looked over and yoongi quickly dropped your hand from his as you moved away wiping your face and smiling at me. "I know you love him.." I spoke quietly and walked away from you making my way back home.

I want you to love me the way you love him, I want you to read me the way you love him, and I want you to love me so much that you never let me go.
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Now times have switched and we're stuck again in our small triangle, I watched as you got out of your car and ran to her stopping her from leaving. I walked over standing there as we all looked at one another knowing this triangle isn't a triangle because you are willing to let go, and because I can't seem to find a way to love her, and because she has claimed that she loves me. Yet again we've all lied before and can't believe our words against each other. Yet again that is who we are.

Lairs

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