Falling out (Taehyung×Reader)

Chpt 16: LOVE and LOVED

Y/n,

I know you love him, you just didn't know how to realize it until you said goodbye. He's in the states now and you've been quiet since you found out, you've been distant as well. It seems like you gave up your love for me, and I was afraid that was true, I watched you as your back faced me while we laid here. We slept in the same bed but you still made it seem you were far away, the only words we have shared today was 'good morning' and after that not one other words. I tried pulling you close last night when you were distant too but you moved away, I did it too the night before and you got up and left the room. I'm afraid to do it tonight, worrying that it'll drive you away completely. I heard you shuffle as you turned around and faced me, your eyes closed as you breathing was steady. I gave a small smile as you opened your eyes, locking eyes with me. You moved closer as I quickly wrapped my arms around you holding you closely and tightly. 

"Taehyung, I love you." I kissed your head and knowing that this was all you wanted to say and be done, "Sometimes it's better to be held than holding on." I whisper to you and I felt you smile against me knowing I quoted your favorite band. I felt like this was your way of letting me know it'll be okay, I was worried you'd leave one day to go after your love. And I say your love because you love him, we all know you love him and I say LOVE because LOVED is not ready to be used yet. We tend to realize we love the ones we thought we no longer loved once it's gone, we tend to focus on the future then this very present moment. It's not fair that we do ourselves such harm but we are only human.

Your soft breathing was steady as I stayed awake thinking about everything and anything, I wanted the sun to come up already so I know you won't leave that day either. I guess you can say I'm waiting on you to chase your love, "You need some rest too." Your small voice filled the dead silence room.
"Y/n?" I felt my oxygen get caught in my throat.

"Hm?" The small hum of the girl that I love dearly filled the room

"If he is what you need and want, I'm okay with that." I felt her breath stop and it's like time froze with us as we laid there I held her a little tighter, as her hand came up to my arm and held it tightly but gently. We were afraid that the LOVE will become LOVED.

"Taehyung, don't let go." Her voice sounded unsure because I know she was tempted but she chose to stay with me, to give up your first love is hard but it make the LOVE into LOVED is worse.

"Never." Then I was back to were I began thinking about love, our love. It'll end soon and we both know this. Y/n, I'm still afraid to love you, because of how we left and of how was started.

LOVE and LOVED