I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{57} Love Triangle

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Was it weird that every time I had to stop walking when cars were passing by, I smiled and remembered Rhett hugging my waist and touched the rams of his jacket which I was wearing? I found it quite...warming. We were supposed to be just friends, or at least that was what I thought.

We haven't exactly talked about being friends, but it seemed like we were already at that stage. I wished I could've asked him instead of breaking down in front of him. I was surprised when he didn't call me a cry baby, a wimp, a softly, you got the point. I just didn't know why he cared about me so much. The things he has always said to me sounded so real and confident; he sounded like he if he wanted me to know something.

He wasn't talking about theories, he was simply stating facts. When I saw my house, I quickly jogged towards it and was standing in front of the door. I opened the door and heard loud voices coming from the living room. I slowly and quietly closed the door because I didn't want the voices to hear the door closed. It was my father's voice and there was a female's voice combined with his. The woman laughed and I heard movement. I walked to the living room and my breathing stopped for a second.

The woman's face dropped and my dad turned around, "Hey son, I thought you were at your therapy section," he said and moved his hands away from the woman's waist.

My dad walked towards me and I took a few steps back. The happiness in his eyes dropped and he looked sad, "Look, son, I know you're going to be mad but-"

"Mad?" I cut him off. "I'm far from mad. I tried not to care about what you do because you gave up on me. You gave up on Eden! Hell, you gave up on mom! How could you? Mom loves you so much that she's out working her ass off while you're dating another woman! Rachael doesn't love you, dad. Mom does, and you should be with her!"

I felt my lips trembled and I closed my eyes, looking away. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. You finished crying about Shane Nolan, now about your dad? You shouldn't cry about him.

"Son, I-"

I felt his hand on my shoulder and I quickly shrugged it off roughly, "I'm not your son anymore. Do whatever the hell you want, I give up."

I turned around and quickly ran up to my room, tears running down my cheeks. I slammed the door as hard as I could and put my back on it. I was breathing heavily as I looked around my room with blurry eyes. What was so hard for my dad to get? He had mom.

What more can he probably need other than an amazing wife? I walked to my bed and then threw myself on it. I then picked a pillow and put it on my face and cried. I cried until I got a headache. It felt like I was holding back for a very long time, and once my tears broke free down on my face, I wasn't able to stop them. I heard my door opening.

I lifted my face, without looking at the person and said "Get out. Learn how to knock."

"I'll learn when you are nice."

I sighed when I heard Eden's voice. "Are you here to lecture and tell me how much dad loves Rachael? If you are, then I don't want to hear it."

I heard his footsteps coming towards me and I turned my head to the right so he won't see my face. I wasn't going to let him see his big brother crying. I felt the heaviness on my side and a hand on my back. "Kind of. I heard you scream at dad. Look, Zayden, I really want to tell you something, but it'll break your heart."

I snorted and bite my thumb nail. "What else can hurt me? I already know dad is cheating on mom."

"That's the point. You don't know something about mom but I do and dad won't let me tell you."

"I can take care of myself. Stop treating me like if I'm broken or something!" I snapped. There was a moment of silence and I glanced at Eden. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings by snapping at him. I didn't usually snap at him, that was a history for our new relationship. I knew if I kept my bitching attitude that I was just going to get angry and tell him to leave. I continued biting my thumb nail and waited for Eden to say something.

"Dad will always love mom," he finally said, "but he wants to meet other women to take his mind off of mom. He knows what he's doing. You can't control him at the things he do. You act like mom when she's not around."

I chuckled and wiped my eyes. "Yeah, mom tells me that and gives me a kiss on the forehead for doing a great job."

I heard Eden chuckled and move. I looked at him and he gave me a small smile. "Dude, its okay! You've seen me crying before. I don't mind if you cry, it's just rare for my tough big brother to cry."

"You think I'm tough?" I asked quizzically. Eden acted like it was the most stupid thing I've ever said.

"Hell yeah, dude. You helped me to get away from Cade, right? And when you punched him that was the coolest thing ever!"

I laughed and Eden joined me. "But you know he likes you, right?" I asked when we finished laughing.

Eden tried not to smile but failed. "Yeah," he said and nodded. "But we're not going date or anything."

"Why not?"

Eden raised an eyebrow. "Should I? I thought you were trying to make me stay away from him."

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Yeah, but he really likes you. You should date him and see if he'll change."

Eden thought about it and gave me a lopsided grin. "You think Crevan will do the same for you?"

My eyes widened and I chuckled nervously. "W-what are you talking about? Crevan doesn't like me."

Eden rolled his eyes and got up from my bed. "Crevan and Rhett like you. Sorry, dude, but you got a love triangle going on."

And with that, he walked out of my room and closed the door softly. I groaned and covered my face with my hands. Why had Eden have to say that? I sighed and shook my head because at that moment, I knew that I was going to think about them in my dreams. Nice work, Eden.

I heard laughter coming from downstairs and a door slamming closed. I removed my hands away from my face and looked at the glowing stars on my ceiling. Love triangle my ass. I didn't love Crevan or Rhett. I would never love them.