I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{20} What Am I Going To Do With You, Eden?

My therapist lets go and I let go too. She wiped her eyes and checked her wrist. "It's time to go, Zayden," she said going to her desk. I looked up at the clock and it was 5:54pm.

I grabbed my book bag from the floor and said, "Are you going to give me advice?"

She looked up and wiped her eyes. Her eyes were turning red and puffy. She sniffled. "Um...talk to your father. Maybe he'll tell you why he's cheating on your mom and also give Eden the "talk" he might think sex is different."

I snorted and put my book bag over my shoulder. "I think he knows what sex means. He's smart smarter than those idiots in his class." 

My therapist chuckles and wipes her eyes.

"Are you okay?" I said slowly walking towards her desk. She nodded and grabbed a pen.

"You're not okay," I said matter-of-factly.

When I said that, she burst into tears and I quickly drop my book bag and hug her. The warm and welcoming came again and I hugged her tighter. I felt water drops on my head and I groaned. It sucks being short.

My therapist lets go and I asked her again. "Are you okay?"

She chuckled and wiped her eyes. "Yes, it's just-I didn't know you would hug me back and it made me so happy because you're starting to trust me."

I raised an eyebrow. "But I don't feel like I trust you."

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "You may not feel it but your actions tells another story."

I felt my lips twitch and I grabbed my book bag on the floor and walked to the door.

"Zayden!" I looked at her and she smiled. "I want you to draw how you feel and tomorrow we will talk about Crevan and Rhett."

I nodded and turned the knob, almost leaving when my therapist called me again. I groaned. "What now?"

Her smile widened. "Don't forget to talk to Rhett and try to be Alexandria's friend. Bye Zayden." 

I groaned again when she finished and I walked out of her room. I heard her laugh again and it made me want to smile. I made someone laugh and smile. 

☼♀♠

I didn't hear music blasting through the walls, making my ears ring a little bit and I was glad. Looks like Eden finally gets it. I went to the kitchen and walked to the fridge. I looked around in the fridge and my eyes shot to the coke. I grabbed it and closed the fridge with my foot. I opened it and took a sip. Then music came out. I jump and drop my coke on the floor.

I groaned and screamed at the top of my lungs. "Eden! Turn the music off!"

The music got louder and I was completely pissed. I walked upstairs and pounded my fist on Eden's door. "Eden! I said turn the music off!"

I put my ear on the door and the music stops. Already I hear the ringing in my ears. The door opened and Eden look mad.

"What?" He snapped. He was in a pissy mood lately. 

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't trying to argue with him. "I said turn the music."

He rolled his eyes and sat on his bed. I followed him into his room and went to his computer.

"Hey! I was listening to that!" Eden exclaimed.

I ignored what he said. "Tell me what's wrong." 

"I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled.

"Yes, you do. When you turn your music on full blast, you're either angry or sad."

Eden sighed and looked at me. "Something is going on in school." 

I sat on Eden's bed and waited for him to say something else.

He glanced at me and took a deep breath. "You remember when I said a few weeks ago that I was going to punch a boy in the face because he kept bothering me and kept asking out a girl I like?"

I think for a second and I did remember. I nodded. "Yeah...why?"

He sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. "I thought...I thought I was supposed to like girls, not boys. I don't know why I like him. My brain keeps telling me I shouldn't like him because he's a boy and we're different. But my heart keeps telling me it doesn't matter. Tell him how you feel, he might feel the same way."

I blink in surprise. To hear my brother likes another boy was something I was not expecting. My little brother likes another boy. I don't know what to say but I didn't know my brother would like a boy romantically. For god sake I was starting to like boys and I didn't know why. 

He glances at me and chuckles humorless. "I know corny how I sound but it's the truth. I don't know what to do and if I tell dad he'll be disappoint it me because I like another boy!" My brother likes another boy and he's my brother enemy. That sounds cliché and weird. I starch my head and look around. I literally have nothing to say because I'm surprise and I didn't expect it.

"Maybe we can tell mom?" I said. Eden raises an eyebrow and his eyes were watering. I pat him on the shoulder and he leans into me.

"I didn't expect this," he mumbles angrily.

"Me either," I mumble back. He punches me on the shoulder softly and I smirk at him. He cracks a small smile and I punch his shoulder softly. He chuckles and wipes his eyes.

"Thank you, Zayden. I needed that," he said smiling.

I raise an eyebrow, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You making me smile and laugh. I didn't know you would do that."  

I didn't know I could do that. I thought I would hurt people feelings and I don't joke around much but...so far I like joking around with Eden. After all, he is my little brother. Even though he is a dickhead.

"Look, we can talk about this later and I have to talk to you about something else," I said patting his leg and getting up from his bed.

"Which is?" He said curiously.

I groan, remembering what my therapist told me to do. "I have to talk about sex with you." Eden tilts his head and starts laughing.

"What?" I said angrily.

"Y-y-y- d-d-don't h-h-ave t-to teach m-m-e a-a-bout s-s-ex!" He said between breaths and continuing laughing. I want to get angry at him but this is the first time in a long time since the accident I made Eden laugh. I feel my lips twitch and I cross my arms. What am I going to do with you, Eden?