I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{6} Two Different People With The Same Story

The next day I was sitting down in my class thinking about what my therapist said the last time I've met her. Yes, I was still calling her my therapist even though I talked to her about my problems, and yes, she was right.

I had to talk to that boy. I have to ask him why in the world he said those things to me. I didn't need any more drama in my life. But the problem was I was not sure if I wanted him to leave me alone or not. I might have been a little bit annoyed and pissed at what he said about me not having friends, and I look lonely. That wasn't true. Well, not entirely.

I rarely felt anything besides my mother. I know how weird it should sounds, but that was the truth. My mother was the only person that has ever made me happy, and she had always tried to help me with my problems. I didn't know why I wasn't brave enough to tell her that I was thinking about a boy in school. I was afraid that she would hate me because I was thinking about boys instead of girls. Was she going to tell my dad?

All of those thoughts chased and ached my head. Finally, I heard the bell rang, and I walked to my locker to get my books for my next class. When I was walking in the corridor, I saw a boy leaning against my locker, and I prayed that he wasn't the dark brown-haired boy because I was not ready to talk to him. So, I've decided to pretend that he wasn't there.

When I finally got to my locker, I opened it without saying a word to him, because I was sticking to my plan. I was ignoring him. Besides, I didn't know how to start off asking him questions.

"Hi," he said, breaking the silence. I glanced at him and continued putting my stuff in my locker. He sighed tiredly and ran his hand through his hair. He bit his lips and looked around. What was he doing? Why was he checking around? Was he looking for his friends?

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things to you," he said with sad eyes. I looked at him and didn't know what to say. Was he apologizing to me? I wasn't mad at him because of what he said. I was angry at him because he was a liar, and I hated liars.

I closed my locker and looked at him thoroughly. He looked horrible. He had bags under his eyes, but they were fading, his eyes were red and puffy, and he looked a little bit pale.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" I blurted. I wanted to face-palm myself. Of course, he wasn't okay.

He looked like he was about to faint at any moment. He just gave me a sad smile and said, "I'm fine. I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry—"

"I accept your apology."

He blinked. "W-w-what?"

I sighed and looked around to see students walking past us, minding their own business. "I accept your apology."

"Y-y-you do?" He stuttered.

I shrugged and frowned. "Yeah, sure, why not? But first, you have to answer some questions I have for you, and you need to go to the nurse."

His smile faded away, and the bell rang. He quickly smiled and waved at me as he walked away. I raised an eyebrow and waved back. Then I groaned and walked to my class, already late.

~~~~~~

Finally, it was lunch. I went to put my books in the locker and walked inside the cafeteria to eat. I sat alone, as usual. While I was eating my food, I noticed some students staring at me and then go back to talking to their friends and then stare back at me. What. The. Hell?

The same blond hair girl with the blue eyes who talked to me before came and sat next to me. I ignored her presence and continued eating my lunch.

"So, what's your name?" She asked. I looked at her, and she had a big smile on her face. Her smile was nothing but sweet, more like a bittersweet. There was something about her I couldn't put my finger on.

"My name is Get-the-hell-away-from-me, and stop smiling like that," I said coldly. Her smile vanished, and she looked down. The way her mood changed made me sad and guilty. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions.

Note to self: remember not to be so cold towards people.

"Zayden," I answered.

Her head snapped up with her eyebrows arch. "What?" She asked.

I sighed and repeated what I said. "Zayden. My name is Zayden."

She formed an 'O' shape, understating what I meant. I continued eating my food, and there was silence between us. I felt a poke on my shoulder, so I stopped eating and looked at the girl.

She had an annoyed look and a pout. "Well?"

"Well, what?" I asked.

"Aren't you going to ask me what my name is?" She asked, whining a little bit.

"Does it look like I want to know your name?" I snapped.

She flinched and glared at me. "Why are you so mean?"

"Why are you still here?" I retorted, raising an eyebrow to her. Well, if she wanted to know my answer, she had to answer some of mine.

"I want to be your friend," she admitted as she shrugged and smiled. I blinked at the change of mood and grabbed my tray, threw it in the garbage, and walked back to my seat. Why did everyone want to be my friend? Was it because I was "new" there?

"Look, I don't want to be in any group. I just want to be alone, so can you please go?" I said quickly. Why hasn't lunch ended already?

"Okay, but first, tell me why are you so mean?" She asked, still smiling. The bell rang, and I got up quickly and walked out of the lunchroom. "Hey! You didn't tell me why you're so mean!"

I turned around to look at her, "I don't have to tell you anything!" I shouted back and then ran to my class.