I'm Not Okay {FIN & EDITING}

{70} One Side

I heard high heels click and clank on the silent hallway. I felt her anger around us and I wasn't sure if she was coming to me or Rhett. I braced myself for anything to happen but then I saw a flash of blond hair passing me. I looked up and turned around to see Alexandria walking to Rhett and Crevan. When she got to them, she slapped Rhett across the face. Well, that wasn't expected. Gaps and oh's erupted the hallway.

"What the hell was that, Rhett? I thought you were going out with me!" Alexandrina screamed.

I didn't move. I wanted to say something to stop her. I should've said that Rhett was with me…kind of! But I wanted to hear his response; I didn't know what he was going to do if I said that. He was still breathing heavily when I looked at him. He glanced at me at the same time, then he glanced at Crevan and just at that moment, I knew that Rhett wasn't going to tell the truth.

I walked over to them and looked at all three of them and thought that somehow and in some way, I just wanted them to be my friends, I wanted to make peace with them, and just be friends. But then I couldn't. Everything about those three people has gone down the hill because of me, and if only Rhett and Crevan and Alexandra haven't met me, their lives would have been the same.

As many times I told them that I didn't want to be friends with them, they haven't ever listened to me. I knew something was going to happen, but I wasn't prepared. I sighed and said something that made my stomach drop.

"He was joking." I stated and frowned.

 Rhett eyes widened and he shouted "No!"

Alexandrina scoffed and put her hands on her hips. "So do you love him?" she asked.

Rhett didn't say anything. I sighed again and showed her my cheek. I bet it looked red but it was going to form into purple.

"See? He punched me when I said something about you. I guess I learned my lesson." I looked down and tried to keep my voice under control.

"Y-you punched him for me?" I heard Alexandrina asking, her voice was softer and her voice was way much lower. "Yes! I Just say that!"  I thought. Again, Rhett didn't say anything, and I wanted to punch him and Crevan for not saying anything. I heard a squeal and I looked up to see Alexandra hugging Rhett while Rhett stood there numbly.

"If you ever touch my boyfriend or even look at him in the eyes, I will get you," Alexandrina threatened while glaring at me.

"Don't worry. I don't give a shit anymore," I announced, and then walked away. I needed to get away from them. I felt my heart aching and I jogged without looking back again; I wanted to find somewhere where I can tell anyone how I was feeling.

~~~

I barged into her office and shouted out everything. "I found out my mom is dead; she was living only in my head. I thought my dad was a homophobic like Rachael but he isn't. Eden is dating his enemy. I like Rhett and for a second I thought everything was going to be okay, but it's not! I thought I could trust him, I thought he wasn't another ego asshole! I sometimes think about Shane Nolan and wish I could visit him and tell him how much I'm sorry I pushed him! I wished everything was back to normal and simple!"

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, tears streamed down my cheeks. I let out a sob and wiped my eyes with my sweater's sleeve, I felt warm chest and arms wrapped around me. I hiccupped.

"Oh, Zayden. I'm sorry you had to find out like this," she said.

 "Y-y-you knew?" I whispered.

I felt her move and I sighed. Great. Cassandra knows my mom was dead. Who else? I sniffed and we just stood there together for a long silent moment. Then I knew Cassandra should've meant something to me. She wasn't just my therapist; she was like a mom. She would hold me even though I was mad at her; she would give warmth and concern for others. Cassandra cared. I pulled back and she gave me a warm smile, her eyes sparkling a little.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I wanted to break down again. It looked like I wasn't okay nor everything was going to be okay.

"No," I shook my head. "I'm not." Cassandra's smile grew and she wrapped her arms around me.

"Why are you smiling? I feel like shit." I asked annoyingly, and her chest rumbled.

"You finally admitted that you're not okay. That's all I wanted from you, besides showing you that nobody is normal and simple."

I opened my mouth to say something but she was right. I realized the things I did and a normal person wouldn't do that. I wouldn't be talking to my dead mom. I wouldn't be saving Rhett's ass because of Alexandra. That doesn't sound normal and simple at all.

I closed my mouth and sat down on my regular chair. It was silent and I looked at Cassandra. She looked healthy as usual but she wore dark clothes which was odd. Her red hair was in a messy bun and her green eyes sparkled a lot now. She wore little make up and I knew something happened.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She walked to her desk and grabbed a tissue. She gave me the tissue and I blow my nose.

"Of course. I'm glad you came here. I missed you," she said and gave me a small smile.

I smiled. "I missed you, too. But, I mean, what's with the dark clothes? You usually wear bright clothes."

"I see you've been checking me out."

I chuckled. "No, I was observing."

"So you were observing my looks and clothes? Is Zayden Creek going both ways? Interesting..."

I busted out laughing. I don't know why it made me laugh. I was supposed to get mad because it wasn't funny but...it did make me laugh.

"I think I'll be staying on one side," I said when I finished laughing.

Cassandra raised an eyebrow and asked "Which may that be?"

I thought for a second and I could feel the smirk starting to form on my lips. "I think you already know, Cassandra." Cassandra squealed and hugged me again. It was kind of weird because I didn't expect her to be excited.