Emergency Medical Dad

XXI: June, past

JESSIE, PAST - sensitive content involving sex. summary at the bottom. 

Emma Averly clung to me after that. So, while my friends were off doing things before the last day of school, I sat in my room, knee to knee with her, and, well, had the sex talk.

"Well, of course I knew I didn't want to wait until marriage," Emma had mumbled, careful to keep her voice down in my room. "Do you?"

"Yeah, of course, obviously," I responded, embarrassed to even be having this conversation.

"Really?" She looked at me weird. "But, in all the shows and everything, they all do it way beforehand, and that's how they experiment and how they figure out what they like and don't like. It's, like, healthy, or something. Plus, I'm sick of the rules and stuff at school and with our parents, it's harmless, I just wanted to see what it was about."

"But," I cleared my throat, whispering, "the sin, it's... it's between you and your husband, it's... for just that."

"Well, sure, but," she shook her head. "It's still going to be special. Obviously."

I didn't respond.

"Just, I don't know. I did it. I had sex with him. I'm no longer a virgin. I can call myself an adult now, somewhat."

I swallowed down my nerves, thinking about Jorgen, then, as hesitantly as I could: "what was... what was it like?"

"The sex?" She fights a smile.

"You were so torn up about it and... I dunno."

"Well, yeah, it was this huge thing, but I've had a sex-revelation since then. Like, a reawakening. I'm not ashamed anymore, it's like, it's called sex-positivity. Look it up. Anyway, it was good. It was so good."

I settled my head into my knees, struggling with what I was feeling enough that I had to hide a blush.

"He was just... wow. Like, wow," Emma stared off with this dreamy look before she snapped her eyes back to me. "I've kissed people, you know that, right? Right, so I kissed him, and we were a little high and stuff, and I kissed him and he did this... like, shotgun kiss I think he called it? He shotgun kissed me. That's where he takes a drag and then pushes the smoke into my mouth so we can use the same hit for both of us. It's so hot. Anyway, he shotgun kisses me and then I keep kissing him, and Jessie." The wonder in her eyes was unbelievable. "He was so good at it."

I nodded for her to keep talking.

"His tongue was just, like, magic. He kissed me for so long too, and then he pushed me backward and my knees hit the side of my bed and I was like oh my god this is happening and then his arms were on either side of my head and it was so hot. You could see all of his muscles and stuff and his hair was flopping down over his eyes and wow. And then he's kissing me and one of his hands goes under my waist and pulls my stomach up until it touches his which was so hot, and then we had this whole eye contact moment."

I realized then that she was going to walk me through the entire thing.

"And Jess, he's so hot. Have we gone over this? He's so hot. Goodness he's hot," she was pink in the cheeks. "And then he nodded for me to get up further on the bed and I did so and then he was kneeling over me sorta and then just slid his shirt up and off his head, and Jess, he's got abs, like, abs and he's covered in tattoos, they're these thick black stripes all over him in these patterns and I've never seen anything like it but I wanted to run my tongue over them."

I tapped my big toes together, trying not to imagine this, trying to make it so it isn't true.

"And then he pulled my shirt off and we started kissing again and then he undid my bra and, don't tell anyone any of this, you know that, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, okay, so," she leaned in really close to me. "He put his mouth on them."

"On what?"

"Them."

I pretended like I knew what she was talking about.

"And used his teeth and stuff. It was beyond hot."

Oh.

And then:

Ew.

"And then he kissed down to my stomach and pulled my pants button out and that's when it really settled in and all that, but I was high so I wasn't nervous, I just wanted him. So he did that and then-" she got closer still, "he put his fingers, like, in me."

Ew.

"And- you know what an orgasm is, right?"

I nodded. I knew but it wasn't something I'd... done.

"And he gave me one," she squeaks out, blushing, "this sex-positivity thing is great but it's so hard not to be embarrassed."

I swallowed a thick knot in my throat, nodding for her to keep going. I hated it, but I had to know.

"So, okay, so then he got a-" she drops to the tiniest of whispers- "condom," her voice picks back up only a fraction, "and took off his pants and put it on and Jessie?"

I nodded.

"His, you know," she covers her mouth, "was so big."

I nodded again.

"Like so big. Like-" she held out her hands, showing me, "I didn't think it could possibly fit and then he kissed me again and then-" she stopped, covering her face with her hands, "he, you know."

I nodded.

"And then we like, you know, and it was so good," she peeps back out of her fingers again, "like it was so good. He was so big. It was so hot. And it felt, like, I can't explain it, it was so good."

I let some of my hair fall out from behind my ear, tipping my head down.

"And then, like, he, you know, and wow, like, wow, that was... the look on his face, yeah," she let out a little giggle. "Wow."

"Cool," I fumbled my words.

"It's so embarrassing that I told you that, but that's what happened. He's coming over again soon. I asked."

My heart sunk a little lower, "do... do you think you have to... you know, to have a relationship with someone?" 

Emma shrugged, "in today's age, it's all you see, right? So I'd assume unless you got really lucky probably not. Jorgen seems to be in the pro-sex boat. I'll ask him." 

I coughed over my dry throat, "so I'll have to?"

"Well, like," she waffled with it. "Maybe, right? Cuz most boys want that now." 

"Oh." 

"Anyway, everyone knows, about Jorgen and I, of course, so like, I guess I just hit cool girl status. Summer-Lynne was pissed. Did you see how mad she was?"

***

Summer-Lynne was mad. Summer-Lynne was so mad she spent all of the morning blocks on the last day of school trying to scheme with me a good way to get back at Emma. I didn't really participate.

I spent the entire day watching Jorgen Hadley flicker between classes and in and out of my peripherals, trying not to imagine him and Emma, trying not to imagine them getting together again, trying not to imagine him falling for her, trying not to imagine him at all. Trying to get him out of my head.

But use fell to uselessness because there's no getting rid of imagination. There's no chance to forget someone you're in love with and can't have in one day. There's only time. 

***

so, yep. 

-rabid

do you guys want me to post another chapter tomorrow cuz i definitely can if you want me to

Condensed: jessie and Emma Averly discuss emma losing her virginity to Jorgen in the last few days of their junior year. jessie is jealous because she, too, has a crush on jorgen, but grossed out by the whole thing.