The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards GxG)

Chapter 73

Beth's POV:

I drove away from the house and stopped a few blocks away.

I need to comprehend the entire situation right now.

A very very very positive thing happened today. Noah is back.

Then, a very very very negative thing happened. Perrie and I broke up.

I'm glad our 2 week break has started today, I definitely need it.

In that time Perrie and I can have some space from each other for a bit, I can meet up more with Noah, and I'll be able to have a load of therapy sessions.

I pray to God they work. I just want to get better and remove the pain Perrie is in.

What will she do when she has an anxiety attack? I was the fastest to calm her down. Now she's alone. Someone needs to live with her.

I think I'll ask Jesy if she could stay with her a bit tomorrow.

I wasn't really up for hotel staff and all that shit so I decided to just sleep in the car.

I drove to a hill that had a perfect view of the sunset. It was already dark, clearly. This day has felt like weeks passed.

I put my car in park and locked it with me inside. No need to get kidnapped or robbed here.

I climb into the back and laid down. It was surprisingly comfortable enough.

Sleeping without Perrie has always been a pain in the ass though.

I will fall asleep, but not as easily and not as rested.

I sighed. I miss her already. That is not good.

Why couldn't it just have worked out? Just one thing in my life that goes perfectly.

My family wasn't perfect, because they died. My school life wasn't at all perfect, because I was bullied. My career isn't perfect, because we aren't getting the recognition we deserve and our label screws us over all the time.

The friendship in our group is now done as well. I messed it up. I can tell already, it will be awkward. It never should have been awkward between us.

I sat up. I won't sleep today.

I felt my phone ring.

It was Noah.

"Beth?" He asked as soon as I picked up.

"Yeah, why you calling?" I asked.

"Well Sam and I texted. Where will you be staying now? You left your house didn't you?" He asked.

"Yeah I did. I'll be finding a flat." I said.

"Nah. You'll move in with me. Im sure that you will do stupid shit without me there." He said.

"If anything you trigger my idiot ideas." I said frowning.

He laughed and said, "Yeah whatever. Just come here. I'll send you the address. I have enough space for another person here."

I rolled my eyes. I was actually really looking forward to sulking and living alone where I can be as depressed as I wanted.

"Fine." I said and he hung up.

He messaged me his address and I roared my car to life.

Fuck...

I forgot that this week is media week. Shit.

I could cry right now.

Not like it'd be the first time.

The day after tomorrow we will be going into a billion interviews.

Fucking shit.

I got annoyed with myself. All I seem to do is complain.

I have money, I have people that care about me. I am healthy and I live safely.

Why the fuck can't I seem to be satisfied with that?

I feel bad for complaining about all of this, but I would rather be broke as fuck, but still have my family. I don't care about materialistic things. Money is just paper. It doesn't mean anything. It can't buy happiness. It buys you an illusion of what seems to be happiness.

But it isn't.

Even though I have money, I don't even use it as much. I don't buy these useless designer things. Yeah I'm into fashion but I won't give up that much money for clothing. I'd rather donate it.

So many people live in poverty and are starving. If I can help them out why shouldn't I?

I feel bad for making so much money just because I'm singing. Doctors, firefighters, those are the people that should get the money. The life savers.

I shook my head. The world is messed up. People call artists heroes, while there are people risking their life or performing intense surgeries to save us all.

The industry is dirty and has an ugly truth behind it. If I had known that back then, would I still want to pursue this career?

It's too late now anyways.

I was still not driving. I really wasn't in the mood for company right now.

But it's Noah. So I finally drove off.

I arrived after 20 minutes. I went up to his house which was obviously his, as there were empty boxes in the front yard.

I knocked and he opened up in sleeping attire.

"Sup." He said and let me in.

I just stayed quiet and went inside.

"It's great that we live together now. I could use some help with moving." He smirked.

I flipped him off, "keep on dreaming. I have media week the day after tomorrow." I said.

He groaned and pouted. I shrugged.

"So where is my room?" I asked.

"Down the hall... but there are no furnitures right now. They arrive tomorrow." He shrugged.

I sighed and sat on the floor.

He joined me.

"How ya doin?" He asked.

"I feel like an ungrateful brat." I said.

"Why?" He frowned.

"Look at my lifestyle. I have everything you could ask for. Yet I'm complaining." I said.

"Woah. Just because you have money now, doesn't mean you have everything. And it doesn't take away your right to complain. Your life isn't nearly perfect. We experienced a big loss. You experienced bullying. You have a lot of reasons to complain. But soon you won't need to. Because we'll work everything out." He reassured.

"Anyhow, that isn't what I meant. How are you doing in terms of Perrie?" He asked.

"I miss her already. Noah I can't believe I fucking broke up with her. I'm way too anxious about what it will do to Little Mix. I'm sure the girls will all check up on her and me tomorrow. How am I meant to wait till I finally can be with her again. She will fall in love with someone else. I always thought she would but now I can't accept it. I love her more than anything. I think she has upgraded to your level now. I would do anything for her. Literally everything." I poured my heart out.

The heaviness of our break ups set in and I started crying. Of course I did. I'm such a fucking cry baby.

He pulled me into a hug and comforted me till I calmed down.

Both of us were sleepy so we slept on the floor. It was already 2 am.

6 years ago I never thought I'd get my heart broken like that.

Guess I was wrong.