Do you know the muffin man? (Lord Farquaad x reader)

Chapter 8~ more chaos.

Lucy opened the door quickly, making Y/N fall inside, "Lucy...! Oh thank god, I didn't think you were home..." Y/N had tears dripping off of their cheeks.

"Y/N...? Oh my... that's right, the scandal, he cheated on you... it's just been on the news..." Lucy embraced Y/N, and held their hand as they both walked inside, "stay here as long as you need. It must be stressful for you."

"Thankyou Lucy... I just can't believe he cheated on me with THAT man... I mean, he is handsome... though... I'm heartbroken." Y/N mumbled, and sat down on Lucy's leather sofa. It reminded them of the castle's sofas, and just as Y/N dried their tears, they began to cry yet again. Things would be so hard without Farquaad there to guide them.

"You think he's handsome? Well... you could always request a threesome... Farquaad said he wanted you to come home on the news, so he clearly misses you..." Y/N considered this and nodded, maybe things would work out? Though, they began to have second thoughts on agreeing almost immediately. What if Farquaad only acted upset to please the public? What if Farquaad and Preminger were very happy together... without Y/N?

"Actually Lucy... I'm having second thoughts almost immediately... I should be happy for them, not barge into their relatio-" Lucy suddenly grabbed Y/N's cheeks and pulled their face close to hers, which made Y/N blush out of embarrassment, "too close..."

"I bet you wish I were Farquaad or Preminger right now. Just go get them, Y/N." Lucy smiled and got up, releasing Y/N.

"Thankyou Lucy... you really do bring the confidence boost I need." Y/N jumped up from where they were sat, and ran to the front door, "right... this is it... once you leave this house, you're not coming back..." Y/N opened the front door and swiftly exited Lucy's humble cottage, "time to go find Farquaad..." They looked around the village, turning every corner in excitement, hoping to see Farquaad, though, he was never there.

"Where could he be...? Maybe he left for good... what if he did? What then?" As they contemplated, Y/N felt themself go dizzy, "what the...?" They collapsed to the floor, making people turn out of confusion.

"Is that Farquaad's ex...? Are they ok...?" Soon enough, they were being crowded, but however, Y/N passed out soon after.

Y/N awoke in what seemed like a black void, "hello...? Where am I...? Is anyone else here?" Y/N called out for help, and stood up. They were too scared to move.

"Farquaad?! Preminger?! Where are you...?" Y/N screamed and began to wander around, "I hate it here... it's so empty... I'm so lonely..." They began to panic further, and their breathing became unsteady, as they began to hyperventilate, "what is this place? I don't want to be here... I don't want to be here... I don't..."

Y/N woke up, they were in the castle, and as their eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness, two faces came into focus.

"Oh dear Y/N, thank lord you are awake!"

"Farquaad dear... don't overwhelm them...! They're scared, very clearly." Preminger was there, he was holding one of Y/N's hands, whilst Farquaad held the other, "Y/N, you weren't meant to find out about mine and Farquaad's relationship in that way... we were going to invite you into a... polyamorous relationship with us both."

Y/N began to calm down, "thankyou... I do accept... I want to be in a threesome with you two..." Farquaad grinned widely.

"I knew it Premmy! I knew they'd say yes. I mean, how could they refuse?" He chuckled, he was very posh with his laughter, "I'm so fabulous, no matter what!"

"Mhm... sure..." Preminger and Y/N gave each other glances, as if to call Farquaad big headed, and they both ended up laughing.

"What? What is it? Do i have something on my face?"

"No- no honey-" Preminger chuckled, but almost choked on his words as Y/N leant into him, "they're still sleepy Farquaad dear... let's allow them to sleep." He lay beside Y/N and Farquaad, and the three drifted off into peaceful sleep. Together. No matter what, they'd be together.