Bloodhearts

Chapter ten: Notebook.

JAY'S POV:

Most of my 'roomies' are beginning to accept my presence. Perhaps it's because they've witnessed my nightmares for almost a week. They still don't talk much, and I don't either, leaving that job to Samir. I still let him eat most of my food and only eat the stuff he forces me to swallow. A couple of times, I've just thrown it up again. Some days are worse than others.

Samir encourages me to write more in my notebook and sometimes, we lie on our bunk beds and write in silence. We never talk about what we note down and I have quickly written more pages than I have before in my entire life. I notice that Samir's writing is surprisingly even, and he doesn't have much trouble controlling the movements of his hands. His writing is not only neat, he also seems to be close to filing out his book.

A guard calls my name and tells me I have a visitor. I make my way to the gate with Samir curiously following along beside me.

My visitor appears to be a rather tense Jason. He nods at me and I reply with another one. Jason's appearance is enough to keep most people in here away from him. Whether that is because of his steely expression or his numerous weapons is debatable, but I can see in his eyes he is just as scared of everyone here as they are of him despite his guns. Even Samir retreats and puts some distance between himself and Jason, but he stays close enough to listen in on our conversation.

"How are you?" Jason asks me, awkwardly, as if the answer wasn't obvious. With little sleep and little appetite, I can't claim I look my best.

"How's Elena and the baby?" I ask, trying to change the subject. "She's pretty far along, yes?"

Jason tries to be strict with me but the mention of his family softens him. "Yeah, they're doing fine. Everything looks good," he replies. "But what I want to know is how are you?"

"I'm doing what is asked of me," I tell him, referring to the mission. He catches it.

"Good," he mumbles. "But are you sure you're up to it? You look like death."

I wince, and Jason's expression is full of regret. He was trying to make a joke, but he didn't think about the meaning behind the words.

"I just mean you don't look so good," Jason mumbles, trying to glaze it over. "Are you sure you should be here?"

"Where else should I be?" I reply sharply, failing to control my temper. "I belong here, isn't that what you meant?"

Jason looks like he's about to get mad too, but he stops it, and frowns instead. "I didn't mean it like that!" he tries to explain, but I don't want to hear what else he has to say. "Tell me what I can do, Jay, please! I want to help you."

I try to step away from him, but he blocks my way easily. "I know you're upset about Cory, but he's upset, too. Maybe you two should talk instead of ignoring each other like this," Jason suggests.

"No," I argue and try to leave for a second time, but Jason's hand on my chest stops me again.

I look my best friend in the eye. "Get out of here, Jason," I order him. Finally, he lets me move away. I don't look back, not about waiting for him to leave before me.

Samir follows me again and I return to my bed, lying down, while Samir sits on his bed, staring at me, wondering what to do.

"It must be nice to get a visit," he says, and I glance at him in confusion.

He shrugs. "My family's only been here once. And it didn't go so well," he admits, and several emotions show in his face.

I sit up, at least able to lend him an ear like he's lend me one.