Bloodhearts

Chapter nine: Change.

I can't stop replaying how Cory pulled away from me over and over again in my mind. I've found a piece of glass that mirrors my reflection. It's a gruesome sight. I still look very dead. Grey skin and all, although it's a more vibrant grey than usual. It's like an absurd summer tan.

"Jay?"

It's Jason who approaches me. He's been watching over me. Unlike the suspicious looks he was giving me before, I see worry in his eyes now.

"Can I ask you a question?" he says and walks over to stand beside me.

I nod in silence.

"It's just... if we hadn't found you and all that, then you're sure you wouldn't remember anything?"

So this is what's on his mind. I shrug as a response and keeping looking at my reflection.

Jason pats my shoulder.

I try to send him a smile and shuffle my way back to the couch. I'm not sure I would be able to stand up for much longer. Sadie has gone after Cory. It makes sense since she and Cory are close friends. I'm guessing that she is the one who has been trying to answer all his frantic questions. Why did this have to happen to him? Why did it have to be me?

It occurs to me that Jason must have just as many questions. Even though he hasn't always been able to understand me, he has always made an effort to. He didn't like Cory when I first started dating him. I knew because I could see it, but Jason never said anything. Luckily, his attitude towards Cory changed over the years. When Jason discovered Cory's will to keep fighting, his will to go through army training, their relationship changed. They became friends. It was because of Jason's support and friendship that Cory managed to become strong and grow to be the same size as Jason. It was quite a change, but it was a good one. We had our moments and we had our laughs. It is weird to think that just days ago this guy, my best friend, was pointing a gun to my head, threatening to kill me and I was threatening to eat him. Now, he is sitting here next to me in this rotten couch. In a lot of ways, you could say that the world is rotting, but it is nice to have a friend next to you when that happens.

"Do you remember everything?" Jason asks quietly.

"Don't knnow..." I answer him. "Hard to expla-i-n. Maybe..."

"... You needed something to trigger your memories?"

I nod. "Yes."

"But does that mean you could've killed us if we just let you go?"

There was only one word powerful enough to tell him exactly why I could never have done that. I shake my head and say, "Cory."

Jason doesn't seem surprised. "You know," he says. "At first, I didn't really understand what you saw in him, but yours is probably the strongest relationship I've ever seen. Even in death, you can't let each other go. It's crazy, man."

We both chuckle.

I look at my best friend in gratitude - but inside I still feel this dull ache.

Jason punches my shoulder lightly as if to cheer me up. "Jay, I hope you don't mind my being frank here. I know you're thinking about Cory. He's a good leader and he's handled everything he had to without complaint, you know... but I can't remember the last time I've seen him smile. Like, really smile. He really did everything he could to try and move on... I think he was just starting to accept he wasn't gonna see you again - we all were - and then you turn up out of nowhere. Now everything's turned upside down again. It's hard."

I look down. I know it is.

"Listen," Jason says. "All I'm saying is that he needs time to get his head around this. At least, you need to give him time. I know it's not want you want, man, but trust me. You just need to do it for his sake."