Forever Yours Natasha Romanoff FF (English part)

Chapter 27

Natasha Pov

After Tony and Pietro left we wanted to rest first. (Y/n) quickly fell asleep. I looked over at her lying there with that peaceful smile on her lips that she always had when she was sleeping. And it made me happy to see her. But at the same time it scared me. I liked (Y/n), I knew that in the meantime. But I was afraid of losing her. Until now I hadn't thought much about it, but now that Tony had said it so directly, I thought even more. He was right. Hydra was out to get her and it was not something to be trifled with. I knew that if she died, it would trigger something unpleasant in me. God how I hated feelings. They made everything so much more difficult. I would have to talk to her about it. But for now, I wanted to sleep.

During the night I woke up again. (Y/n) was breathing heavily and turning back and forth in bed. I took the crutches that were placed next to my bed and made it with them to the chair by her bed. I settled down on it and realized that already from this my burns were hurting me. Nevertheless, I bent down to (Y/n) and stroked her cheek. She woke up and looked at me, startled. "Did you have another bad dream?" I asked and looked deeply into her eyes. "Yes, but it was only a dream." she answered and looked at me gratefully. After a while she said, "I know the uniform the man was wearing. The one who started the fire." Confused, I looked at her. "From where?" "A man in my dream wears the same uniform." she answered my question. In my dream? Was she dreaming the same dream over and over again? "This is the uniform of Hydra. But you don't know Hydra. How did you-" "I don't know, Natasha. I only know that he wears the same one." she interrupted me in the middle of my sentence. I nodded in understanding.

Then I said, "Speaking of Hydra...there's something I need to talk to you about." "Tell me." the girl urged me. I took a breath before I started. "Well, it's like this. I hate feelings. Oh God you can't imagine how much." I laughed a little nervously and she also laughed briefly. "But I still like you (Y/n). I even like you a lot." I paused for a moment. "There is a but in this beautiful story that bursts the bubble isn't there ?" She looked at me a little expectantly. As if she hoped she was wrong. "I don't mean to hurt you and that's why it's so incredibly hard for me to tell you this now...but you already mean so much to me even though I've only known you for a few days. And I know this sounds so stupid, but with this fire I was so afraid to lose you. It scared me so much that I would have dragged myself to my death. If I let you get close to me now and something happens to one of us, it will be even worse for us than it already is. I have a job where I go outside day after day and I know that this could be my last day. And still I go out. Because it's important to me. This job, this family. They make me complete...What I'm trying to say is that I could die any day. That's what the fire made me realize again. And I don't want you to be the one who mourns me the most then. I don't want to be that person either. That's exactly why I think it would be better if we just forget about what was there between us, even if it was only for a short time." Now I lifted my gaze. (Y/n) had been listening to me the whole time and hadn't made a sound. "That...no that's ok I understand and maybe it's really for the best." she said now. But I realized that she did not see it that way. Her look reflected sadness and disappointment. But I didn't want to talk about it any further. It was better this way. "Okay. Good." I said, nodding, before dragging myself back to my bed and lying down.
(Y/n) Pov

All the rest of the night I couldn't sleep. Again and again Natasha's words went through my head. Maybe she was right. Maybe we could die every day. But hadn't it always been like that ? With this risk one had to live now times or not ? I did not know so slowly even more what I should think. And how did I know the uniform of Hydra? Why was she in my dream? And why was Natasha in my dream? These were just a few of the questions I asked myself.

Eventually the morning came and a new day began. A better day! But I was very wrong. The day was not better. Not to say it was even worse. Natasha ignored me most of the day and that was really not easy. After all, we were in the same room and both had to stay there. But somehow she still managed to avoid any of my questions. Also in the following days we hardly exchanged a word. Every now and then the others stopped by to bring us food and drink, to see how we were doing or just to talk to us a little. The only ones who never showed up were Tony and Peter. Pepper had said that the two of them spent day and night in Tony's lab trying to find the base of Hydra. But so far in vain.

Eventually the day came when Pietro came into the room and happily announced that he had gotten permission from Dr. Cho to take me to the cafeteria. And for that I was more grateful to him than ever before. I couldn't have lasted much longer with the silent Natasha. "God, you can't imagine how nice it is to finally see something other than white walls." I laughed as we entered the cafeteria. "Well then it's a good thing I talked Dr. Cho into it." "Absolutely !"

A few minutes later, we were sitting comfortably at a table drinking hot chocolate. She reminded me of Lizzie. How I missed her. And I couldn't even write to her, because my cell phone hadn't survived the fire. "Do you like it?" With that, Pietro pulled me out of my thoughts. "Mhhmm. Yes!" I said and took another sip. "Pepper was here earlier and told me that she was leaving soon to take care of Stark Industries." I said. "Yeah, I heard that too. But she's got a lot to do there." "Yes, I am a bit sad that she is leaving. I really like her. But at least she promised to come back soon." I said. "And that's all she said?" Pietro asked. "No, she also said that the furniture had arrived and that you had already set it up." "Surprise!" he shouted and I had to laugh. "Well, actually I told her to just say that they had arrived. But I think she didn't quite understand that." he laughed. "Yes, I'm afraid so too." I said and had to smile. 

"Did she at least ask you if Natasha could sleep at yours ? After all, she doesn't have a room right now. Or rather a pretty burnt one and I don't think she wants to sleep there." When he noticed my look he stopped talking. "What's the matter? Aren't you happy? Or didn't you understand what I just said? Do you have something on your ears? Is there-" "I understood that Natasha will sleep in my room Pietro." I interrupted him, but I didn't sound very convincing. "Okay, what's going on with you? You have hardly spoken to each other in the last few days since the fire. I mean, a week ago you were making out in the pool and now you're not talking ?" Pietro wanted to know and I sighed. "Natasha thinks it would be better if we don't get too close. She thinks that the risk of one of us dying and the other one being hurt too much is too big." I explained to my new friend now.  "That sounds like the end of the world." Pietro joked and I gave him a look. "Oh ok. Not a good time for jokes." "I like her, Pietro. I really like her. And I understand her point of view, but somehow I don't understand her either. I mean, sooner or later everybody dies, don't they? So why should I sit around and pretend that nothing has happened ?" For a while Pietro looked at me helplessly. Then he said, "You know what (Y/n). I don't understand their point of view. It doesn't make sense. If you love someone, you should spend the time you have with each other. And you should enjoy every day as if it was your last ! So if you want my opinion on that here it is." I was a little startled at how energetic he was all of a sudden. 

"Who was talking about love here ?" I asked, amused. "Oh, shut up (Y/n). We both know you don't just like each other." Disappointed, I looked down. "No we definitely didn't just. But now I guess I had to come to terms with just liking her." "Ok, enough of that now! I've got something for you that might cheer you up a little." With these words he pushed a small package, with a bow around it to me over. What was in it?