Poggers... (TommyInnit x reader)

11

TW: anxiety attack

I sat there for a second. I was shocked, embarrassed, and scared at the same time. Tommy had just left the vc so suddenly and I didn't get a chance to say anything afterwards.

Immediately I went into my messages on my phone and texted Tommy. I sent "Hey Tom can I talk to you? I don't know what happened there and am confused. I wanna explain myself. Just worried if you're alright. Please text back.". There was no response.

***

If I thought I couldn't fall asleep before I definitely couldn't now. My anxiety was acting up terribly. My legs were bouncing as I rested my elbows on my desk with my head in my hands. I constantly kept checking my phone and my breath began to quicken.

I knew that this wasn't leading anywhere good so I tried my best to get up off of the chair and get a drink of water. Once I got to the kitchen it had worsened my thoughts began to take over and I was getting shaky. I couldn't even hold the cup of water at this point.

I slid down the kitchen cabinets and sat on the floor of my kitchen crying. Why did I have to fuck everything up with Tommy? I'm just so scared that he's going to hate me and not talk to me again. I just didn't want the fans making assumptions or people judging me...

***

After about 2-3 hours of me sitting on the floor my anxiety had calmed down. So I wasn't uncomfortable I now just laid on the couch staring at the ceiling. I didn't know what to do. No response from Tommy and no one was up for me to talk to. It was around 6am at this point and I knew there was no way I was going to fall asleep. I felt so alone and just wanted to sink into the couch and never come out.

There was so many thoughts going through my head and they all were so self deprecating. I needed to stop these thoughts before they got worse. Since no one from the Xbox party was up I could only think of my next best option, Clay.

I had gotten Clays phone number a couple of weeks ago. It was mainly for reasons like this. I had explained to him a while ago my history with bad mental health. So he gave me his number and said that if I needed him to always call.

I really hoped that Clay was awake. For him it was around 8:00am. Since the man had an odd sleep schedule to be able to play games with George I was worried. I tapped the call button anyway and hoped as it began to ring. After a couple rings he answers.

"Y/n what are you doing up at 6?"

I sat there in silence tears running down my face now. I just wanted someone to talk to and I was relieved I didn't have to suffocate in my thoughts anymore.

"Y/n are you okay? I need you to talk to me what's going on?"

Clay sounded so groggy as if I just woke him up. I felt a little bad, but I respond though sniffling and sobs, voice quiet.

"Clay... I don't know what to do..."

He made shushing noises calmly through the phone and I sobbed a bit more.

"Hey calm down a bit. Just sit here with me for a second. I want you to calm down some before telling me what's going on okay?"

I begin to steady my breath like Clay told me and I start to calm. Once Clay noticed my condition better he speaks again.

"Now Y/n please tell me what's going on. What do you mean you don't know what to do?"

I take one more deep breath before speaking.

"So I couldn't sleep and decided why not stream for fun. Chat was asking me questions and one of them was who was my favorite person out of the dream smp. The thing is that I wanted to say Tommy because he is my best friend and we talk everyday, but I knew what fans would do if I said that so I refrained and said you. Tommy then joined the call sounding disappointed and almost angry that I didn't say him. So I ended stream quickly to tell him that he was my favorite, then he left the call. He now won't answer my texts or calls."

Throughout me explaining what happened my anxiety started to come back. Clay noticed this and continued with the calming shushing noises.

"Hey Y/n it's alright. Everything will get sorted out. We can figure it out in the morning. I suggest though that you get sleep. You have been up this long and it's not good on your mental or physical health. Would you like me to stay on the phone with you so you can get to bed?"

I smile a bit with the anxiety lifting some. Clay no matter what I always knew that I could rely on him to be there for me. I was glad he picked up the phone other wise I don't know where I would be now mentally.

"I would really appreciate that Clay. I'm sorry for dragging you into this."

There is a little chuckle from Clay.

"Hey this is no issue for me. Also don't be sorry. Please be proud of yourself that you decided to reach out for help. I'm very proud of you Y/n. Now please get some sleep I love you lil sis."

It wasn't uncommon for Clay to call me lil sis as we had grown that dynamic over the past week. So I would either call him big bro or Clay. I laughed to myself a bit because I never in my life thought I would get to this point.

Having great people like this with me now. Also people I could depend on made me feel safe. As I thought of these facts I started to fall asleep. I could faintly hear Clay in the background typing away at his keyboard probably editing a video. The clicking of the keyboard and the presence of Clay made me calm down fully and exhaustion took over so I slowly slip into a restful sleep.

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Sorry for the short chapter today. It actually is Aris birthday today so I'm gonna spend the majority of my time with her. I wanted to get out this chapter to you guys so that I didn't forget! Thank you also for sticking with the story I really appreciate it!