" carla ! over here " waved mia , I took a deep breath and carla 2.0 came to life .
" hey mia !" I said as I gave her the widest smile it felt like my skin was gonna tear .
see the thing about being carla 2.0 is , I can't be myself , hell I don't even know who my actual self is . I have to be a certain way or I'm going to be deemed an outcast so I'm not left with much of a choice in this matter .
I wouldn't exactly say I'm " popular " but I'm well known because of my circle , i was never the one in the spotlight though just them but that kind of rubbed off on me and I was one of them , all thanks to having bought the latest chanel bag and I gained instant recognition .
sometimes I wonder if I hadn't lost weight and if olivia hadn't complemented my bag would I have been one of them ? seeing as I had lost weight and i bought the new clothes in fashion craving for acceptance from them .
" cool jeans , where did you get them ? " she said with an approving grin and I mentally gave myself a high five , I even forgot that my skin was practically cramped up in these jeans but i could do this , I had to .
" my mom bought them , i wasn't with her when she did . " i said as I slowly sat down mentally praying that the jeans didn't rip in half because they were tight alright .
i sat down successfully and exhaled before I ate my granola bar .
" isn't that going to make you fat ? i mean you don't wanna look like that again do you ? " mia asked with a disgusted look on her face as the word " that " rolled off of her tongue like poison , fuck .
" yeah you're right I wasn't even hungry " I said with a weak smile , okay , no more granola bars .
i slowly put it back in the wrapper as my chest tightened , I have to be perfect I kept repeating to myself letting out an internal sigh and with that the bell for first period rang .
. . . . . .
math class went by in a blink and I went out to the buzzing chatter of gossiping high school kids . I took a deep breath and went out to the battlefield .
see , the reason why I call it that is because it's cramped up , there's no space people are pushing their way through and you get shoved and some money dissapears from your pockets but that's as far as it goes .
i was one bullied in this place too like the freshman but that's the last thing I want to relieve right now . just a few more steps and I'm there .
" you have got to be fucking kidding me ! " i exclaimed as this stupid boy ran into me and I fell , falling isn't the worst part of it , it's the fact that the button of my jeans popped out and my zipper got out .
" shit sorry " he said as he gave me his hand but I was too furious to accept the stupid apology . I also did notice that he wasn't from here because I have never seen him and he was pretty enough to be popular and on the football team .
the reason why I'm so sure that he is new here is because I took note of all my bullies , the popular kids who are now my " friends " .
" watch where you're going next time dick face " I said and earned a few glares from people but I couldn't give a shit .
he was staring back at me and when I looked down my waist trainer was showing a little and I quickly pulled my sweater down wondering if he saw it but when I looked back up he was fucking gone and I was left with a fucked up pair of jeans .
YOU ARE READING
a reason to die
Teen Fiction" what's your problem ? why are you so keen on me being alive ? " she asked as he just stood there and stared at her as if he too had no idea , he took a deep breathe and said the words fastly but they did not go unheard , she heard them loud and cl...
