Love Is Never Ugly

Chapter 22

As Charlotte recovered from the awful sprain she had received in her ankle she began to think about Alastor. She thought about his gentle touch, his considerate voice, and his sad eyes. But most of all she thought about the way she felt when he was holding her. There was a certain familiarity and nostalgia to the way he held and carried her, the way she had her arms around his neck and gazed at his face, she had the strangest feeling that this had happened before. However what she found to be especially strange was that the whole time she was in Alastor's arms she felt no fear. In fact she felt completely safe and almost enjoyed being held by him.

She also thought about what Niffty had told her about him. Try to understand him? Try to understand the reasons for his behavior? She didn't know how on God's green earth she could possibly understand his motivations for killing people and feasting on their corpses. Still maybe Niffty was right. After all he had been treating her very kindly and it wasn't like he had no heart since he considered his servants family.  So perhaps there was an understanding to him. At the very least she could try to understand him and the first step to doing that would be to try to befriend him.

So when her foot healed up she decided that this evening she would go to dinner rather than have it in her room. She donned a deep blue colored gown with an empire waist and indigo trim. She styled her hair up with a blue butterfly pin and for jewelry she wore a sapphire necklace and matching earrings. She didn't normally wear make up but she noticed being cooped up in her room for so long had made her look a little flushed so she decided to apply just a little powder and rouge.

She slowly and quietly went down stairs and toward the dining room. However there was no meal or drink waiting for her. Of course this was because she had not informed anyone that she was no longer going to stay confined to her room. Not even Alastor. So that evening as he was creeping around the shadows of the castle corridors he noticed that the door to Charlotte's bedroom had been left cracked open. He peered through the crack and saw that she was not there.

He suddenly felt panicked. Did she leave the castle? Run out into the forest? Oh no! Oh God no! If she had done that then he would be forced by his instincts to hunt her. To stalk her, to chase her, to grab her, and then to...

Before his instincts could give him any predator ideas, he quickly searched for the nearest looking glass that he had not destroyed. He gazed into it while trying not to become angry or disgusted with his own reflection.

"Where is she?" He asked the mirror calmly and then he shouted desperately, "Tell me where she is!"

His reflection was the changed into the image of Charlotte sitting alone at the dining table. His panic was soon replaced by relief. He once again became captivated by her beauty, running his claws over her image while trying to picture what it would feel like to touch her skin. He had gotten a few morsels when he tended to her ankle the other day and he felt the urge to touch more of her weather or not he had her consent but he knew better. His mother had raised him better. He would never cross that line.

"Oh good you're calm." At the sound of his butler's voice he turned to see the cat creature looking at him nervously. "I heard you shout and thought that you might be having another one of your break downs. I was ready to bar the doors."

Alastor ignored the remark his servant had made and looked back at Charlotte's image.

"Just look at her Husk." He said. "Is she not the most beautiful thing in all the world?"

"I have to admit she's very easy on the eyes."

Alastor finally took note of the fact that it was dinner time and Charlotte had no meal.

"Husk tell Niffty that Charlotte has decided to start eating in the dining room again then serve her a drink."

"Yes sir. Are you going to be joining her?"

"You know very well that I would never eat in her presence."

"I mean are you going to go talk to her like you did before?"

"I don't know." He said. "To be perfectly honest Husk I don't know if I'll ever go near her again. She is lovely and I am hideous. Now that she has seen me she will think only of my face when she hears my voice. I don't want her to constantly be reminded of my appearance."

"You know Alastor there's something about all this I don't understand."

"And what is that?"

"Why does her opinion of you matter so much? For the last thirteen years you've never really cared if your appearance ever frightened or disgusted anyone. However you can hardly bear the thought of how your looks make this woman feel. Why is that?"

"Don't ask me Husk because I have been asking myself the same thing ever since she arrived here. All I know is I can't stand the memory of the fear in her eyes when she saw me that night. Her terrified screams still echo in my mind. And for the first time in my life I actually feel ashamed of what I was doing in that moment."

"You mean eating?"

"Eating a human being."

"You felt ashamed of yourself for doing that? When did that happen?"

"When I saw the look on her face that night. She looked at me as if I was the most wicked being that God had ever made and maybe I am but I don't want her to see me that way. I can't explain why but I don't want her to think that I am a monster."

Husk was utterly confused by what Alastor was saying. In all the years that he had served his master he never once seen him express any shame or regret for his actions. And within the last thirteen years he had never seen his master express any concern for what anyone thought of his appearance. Before Charlotte came along, Alastor would always say that he had accepted that he looked horrible and that he no longer cared what the wretched humans thought of him. If they treated him like a monster then he would act like one. That there was no shame in eating human flesh because it was no different from a wolf feasting on a deer. But now this young maiden had somehow caused his master's view point and thinking process to change a little.

"Are you alright sir?" Husk asked.

"I am fine Husk. Please bring Charlotte a drink and tell her that she will have her dinner soon."

"As you wish."

Husk did as he was told but he still could not help but wonder just what kind of effect Charlotte had over Alastor. What was about her that made her so different from all other humans that he had encountered in his life?