Love Is Never Ugly

Chapter 46

Alastor couldn't sleep a wink that night. All he could do was just lay in bed and gaze at Charlotte's sleeping form while hearing her words from earlier be repeated in his mind.

"Oh I guess this means we'll be saying goodbye."

Goodbye? No, it couldn't be time to say goodbye now. She couldn't be leaving now. He wasn't ready for her to leave. He didn't want her to leave. Not ever. Not when she's made him a much better person. Not when she's made him happier than he had been since his mother died. He couldn't let her go.

But he couldn't just go back on their deal. He had given Charlotte his word. For all his faults, he had never been dishonest and to be dishonest with her. Well that would be worse. How could he love her if he couldn't be someone she could trust?

He encased his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. Then he brushed back her hair from her face so he could kiss her.

"I won't break my word. Not to you." He whispered against her cheek. "But if I asked you to stay with me forever, would you?"

She didn't answer because he had whispered the question so softly as to not wake her. He had merely been thinking out loud.

He glanced over at the nearby clock and realized that dawn would soon be approaching. After holding her for a little while longer he carefully slipped out of her bed then moved to go to his own room. He needed to think. To think about what he was going to do.

"Look what she's done to you." His inner voice taunted. "You have allowed her to turn you into a weak and pathetic creature. For thirteen years everything and everyone trembled before you. And now-"

"Now I am happy. So very happy."

"You were happy before."

"No I wasn't. I just told myself I was. For years I have been telling myself that I was happy to be a monster who terrorized anyone who came near but the truth is...It only made me feel all the more lonely and rejected. But ever since Charlotte came here I haven't felt lonely or rejected at all."

"And now she's leaving you. Leaving you to rot."

"I knew she would leave eventually. It came so much sooner than I thought. I want her to stay but I can't bring myself to hold her here against her will."

"There is a way to ensure that she never leaves you without forcing her."

"There is?" He asked hopeful. "How can I do that? Tell me."

"Kill her."

"Never!" He growled in horrified anger.

"Don't you see? She can't leave you if she's dead."

"I'll kill myself before I ever harm her! She is my world! My life! My only reason for living! If she were to die then I would die along with her!"

Just thinking about killing her made it hard for him to breathe.

"So you're just going to let her get away with making you weak and then abandoning you!"

"Be quiet! I am done listening to you!" He snapped. "All you've done is make me feel horrible about myself!"

"Make you feel horrible about yourself? Or help you discover who you really are?"