Love Is Never Ugly

Chapter 32

Alastor thought about what Husk and Vagatha had said. Common sense told him that they were correct. Charlotte could never completely see him as anything other than a monster as long as he continued to feast on her kind. Their kind. For thirteen years he had ignored the fact that technically he was a human being due to his hatred toward them for what they had done to him and his mother. He was sure that he could never forgive any species that slaughtered his innocent and gracious mother. That tragedy left him believing that human beings were a species of evil. That's why he could hunt and eat them without a shred of remorse. But Charlotte's unexpected appearance changed things.

Like all humans he had known before she feared him and was mortified by his face. However despite her fears she still cared about his well-being. She stopped him from hurting himself and even shed tears for him. His suffering meant something to her. He never thought that his pain and his feelings would mean anything to any human. He couldn't understand it. How could any human care for something that looked like him?

"Such an ugly face." He said to his reflection in a cracked mirror.

"When you listen to your human heart you are reminded that your looks are something to be ashamed of. Your animal mind keeps you from feeling the shame."

"It also keeps me from acknowledging how my actions appear in Charlotte's eyes. That night she first saw me eat, it'll haunt me forever."

"That woman makes you depressed and ill. She is just like all the others."

"No. She's not at all like them. She cares."

"If she really cares then why can't she accept you for who you are? Why must she be repulsed  by your nature?"

"She can't help it. Anyone would feel that way. I...I don't want her to be frightened of me anymore."

"You think that if you just stop eating human flesh you'll suddenly become a handsome prince in her eyes?  Even if you were to become a vegetarian she still wouldn't see you as anything other than a hideous animal!"

"Stop it."

"Face reality boy! She'll never want you! She prays for the day that she can finally get away from you!  One day when your back is turned she'll run away and go marry a much better looking man!"

"I said stop it!"

"And why? Because you're not meant have friendship or love! You're too ugly! Too beastly! You're not meant to be loved by Charlotte! Just like you were never meant to be loved by your mother!" 

"Enough!"

He smashed the mirror in front of him and proceeded to destroy anything in his sight. He howled and screeched,  he couldn't help it. He just wanted to block out the cruel voice in his head. 

 Charlotte heard him and she quickly ran upstairs toward his room to make sure that he wasn;t hurting himself again. She first saw him through the crack of his door and when she saw that the only damage he was doing was to inanimate objects and not himself, she thought it best to just let him get it out of his system.

 Charlotte waited quietly by that cracked door and when things became more quiet she slowly crept inside came into the room. He was on his knees surrounded by shards of broken mirror. He picked up one shard and used it to look at his reflection again. He crushed it into smaller pieces while wishing that the shard was actually himself.

"Don't!" Charlotte cried. "You'll cut yourself."

He stood up quickly and changed his demeanor.

"Oh hello my dear." He said making his smile spread extra wide. "I do apologize if my little outburst disturbed you. What poor behavior on my part."