Love Is Never Ugly

Chapter 55

Meanwhile Charlotte's departure had already caused a drastic change in Alastor. He moved as if he were a spirit, his voice sounded so frail, and his eyes seemed to grow more and more faded. However these changes were barely noticed by the servants for after Charlotte left, Alastor had concealed himself in her former bedroom and he spent many hours there. Many hours missing his beloved Charlotte. Many hours remembering all the time they spent together. Many hours wondering if she truly intended to keep her promise to visit him. However he couldn't bring himself to watch her through the mirror again. The first time he tried it was completely agonizing to him. To see her but to not be with her, it was too painful.

He approached her bed slowly and moved to carefully grab to sheets. He caressed them while imagining that the silken cloth was her delicate skin. Then he brought the sheets to his face and inhaled, her scent was still fresh. Her scent of roses, lavender, and all the flowers in the world. What he wouldn't give for those sheets in his arms to actually be Charlotte.

Suddenly he started to silently sob into the sheets. He couldn't help it, he just missed her so much. So much. The memory of her face, her voice, her touch, haunted him every waking moment. He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't read or make music. He couldn't even hunt. How could he? His thoughts were plagued by two things; His longing for Charlotte and the guilt he felt over the countless lives he devoured.

Yes that was probably the hardest part in matters of redeeming yourself. Acknowledging all the terrible things you had done and accepting the responsibility for it, which sadly often results in extreme guilt and shame. Alastor's self loathing was now stronger than ever before yet strangely he didn't start hurting himself again. Most likely due to the fact that he had promised Charlotte he wouldn't. But there were other ways he could inflict suffering on to himself.

Without the woman he loved and with the constant memories of his sins, life held no meaning to him anymore. What was the point of living if he had no love and had no goodness? What else is there for him?

...

"How is he?" Husk asked Niffty when she returned with a full set tray in her hands.

"He refused dinner again." She sighed. "It's the sixth meal he's turned down this week. I'm getting very worried."

"Maybe he just needs a stiff drink."

"I'm no expert on depression but I believe that alcohol will only make things worse."

"He hasn't been to the rose garden since Charlotte went home." Cherri said.

"Can't say I'm surprised, it's gone from a reminder of his mother to a reminder of her."

"Yeah but that's not the worse part."

"Well what is?"

"It started yesterday, the roses are wilting."

"Wilting?" Husk said. "What do you mean they're wilting?"

"I mean they're dying which is strange because they're supposed to never wilt. They're magic. When we buried Marie, her remains made the soil enchanted so that the only way the roses could die was if they were plucked from the roots. But one by one, they're petals are dropping and their leaves are turning brittle."

"Why is this happening?" Niffty asked.

"I don't know. I spent all night checking them but I couldn't find anything wrong. The soil is fertile, they get plenty of sunshine and water, there are no pests like insects and gophers, it doesn't make sense. They should be full in bloom."

"How many are still alive?"

"A good amount but I sense that they won't last much longer."

"Should we tell Alastor?" Husk asked.