I don't want to be married to him anymore.
There was no way I was mentally okay with dating a man with a daddy kink. I just couldn't.
000
This is my very first book so it wasn't the best. I had a lot I wanted to do but I ended it, if you like this...
What the fuck happened last night. I sit up grabbing my head in pain. I fix up my hair with my eyes squinted, blinded by the sun.
I look to the left of the bed and my eyes widen when I meet eyes with Chan. He obviously just woke up too because we both fly off the bed.
I look at his shirtless body and v line that is covered with the sheet.
Why are you nak-, I look down to my naked body and cover myself. At least i'm wearing a bra.
DID WE?!?!, Chan points to himself, then to me, and then back to himself.
No NO WAY, I shout in disbelief trying not to laugh.
But we're both naked, Chan whisper yells for no reason.
Is- is that a- a condom, i point to the bed, my hand shaking.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
4 months later:
Chan and I are still friends, best friends actually. Since we both don't remember specifics we just held it as a funny memory.
Chan has a girlfriend now, shes so nice and we are going to hang out today. Whether he breaks up with her or not I'm still going to keep her as a friend. (As long as she doesn't cheat (for a good reason))
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"Satie!!!", I look over to see Chan's girlfriend. She didn't feel comfortable calling me Satan so she called Satie.
"Hey Princess", she gives me a light hug. I call her Princess because she's so perfect and really an amazing person. (I actually forgot her name)
"Ready to go thrift?", she asks me and I smile.
000
When I get home, my mom leaves me to go watch the kids, she was finally going on a date with Dadda so I didn't hesitate to accept.
Half an hour later I hear someone come inside. Carlos comes in and I'm not surprised he is tipsy. I help him to his room after I ask the kids if they need anything. As I help him he closes the door. He kisses my cheek, and I pull him faster into his bed.
He pushes his lips to my face.
I push him off of me but he grabs my wrist.
He's stronger than me.
He throws himself on top of me rubbing his nose all over my hair, ear, and neck.
I start raising my voice, "stop, STOP I-" he covers my mouth and whispers into my ear. "you don't want the kids to have to get it too huh" I stop raising my voice "Don't worry, its not the first time"
my breath hitches.
I cry silently as he grabs touches and kisses me all over. I couldn't let him hurt the kids. Today I was taking care of the little boys and girls, the last thing I wanted was them to be hurt at such a young age.
"Gosh I love your hair", he groans.
There was no pleasure, no satisfaction, no way out. Only discomfort, pain, and embarrassment.
When he is finished with me I pull up my clothes, not saying a thing. I slowly walk to the bathroom holding a hand on my mouth.
I look up trying to think, I quickly wipe the tear that fell and hush myself. To many tears soon pour down and my lips shake. I hopelessly wipe my face but their are too many tears to hide.
"Hey, hurry up I need to use the bathroom"
000
I'm starting to rely on the tall man from last year more often.
Every time I am just... eh, I think of him.
I dont really feel much anymore.
I think its my medication...
Or at least I think.
I dont really care though.
It seems I dont care about anything anymore.
I like to lay in bed and listen to romantic music people played in the 60s, it comforts me.
Since I like to stare at my ceiling I glued random pictures to admire.
The 'funny' part is that I dont hate myself, I just cant. Dont get me wrong, I feel stupid but not enough to HATE myself. That's what makes me WANT to be angry, but I cant. Because I just dont feel anything.
Anyway, Im gonna go burn this.
I slowly get out of bed, letting out a long yawn. I decide on taking a shower, the smell of onion hurts my pride.
As I take shower I scrub my hair, wash my face and brush my teeth. As I scrub my tongue I get a bad feeling. With soap falling into my eyes I throw myself out of the tub and lift the toilet seat.
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Clean clothes make me feel better.
I brush my hair, letting my wet hair lay loose.
I meet up with Chan and Princess to see them holding hands and being the cutest couple ever. I wonder if itll be like that when I marry Jin. Maybe I will be happy...
Just 3 months left.
We walk to class together and take the same old boring classes. Chan has tutoring so Princess and I walk home together.
