who are you?

nine

ive had an insane amount of coffee and its currently 11 pm as i start writing this. may be updating for 2-3 more chapters since i wont be going to bed soon :")

—

doctor?

no.

i can't go.

but if i do, we could find out if there's something wrong with me. more than my anorexia, we could found out the reason why my heart kept hurting. then the doctor would say it's nothing and that i'm just overreacting.

everything is good by then.

he smiled, his surroundings fading and his hearing stretching into monotonous ringing. hyunjin was in front of him, his mouth opening and closing as if he was talking but jeongin couldn't hear a thing.

wait.

what if the results came back and its not what we were wanting to hear?

no.

i can't handle another sickness, my body is frail as it is. furthermore...

i don't want to worry my husband. my child.

i'm fine.

this is nothing.

nothing.

"nothing. yes. this is nothing." he was staring at a space and no doubt was completely zoned out. the blonde cradled his face in his hands with a concerned expression.

he looked purely gone, as if he wasn't with hyunjin at all. with a soft peck on the forehead he tried calling his name once more.

"innie."

his pupils were dilated, mouth hung ajar.

"hwang jeongin."

despite the calls, his lips continuously moved and muttered incoherent things the older couldn't comprehend. he was slowly starting to get creeped off with the sinister vibes his husband was giving.

hyunjin leaned in to rest his forehead against his.

"baby come back to me." he whispered with a hitch in his breath, wide eyes frantically searching for jeongin's which remained blank and untamed.

he had no idea what was unfolding in front of him. he didn't know what's happening with the younger, it was sending shivers to his spine.

hyunjin didn't want to admit it,

but he was scared.

life after marriage was supposed to be perfect, with no flaws as big as this. he knew there were obstacles that are to be faced by them, but he didn't know it would be this hard.

jeongin was helpless before they met but now that they're finally together like they both wanted, why does it feel like nothing changed at all?

he was my cure, and he did his part ever so effortlessly. if anything, he fulfilled me until i overflowed and then there was nothing left for himself.

despite that, he was happy.

he healed me though he was shattered and broken himself.

hyunjin sucked in a deep breath, trying to blink the hot tears he could feel coming.

"i was supposed to be your cure." he neared his face until he felt his whole body collapse onto his lap.

"but why am i ruining you more?"