The Dixon's Best Friend. [Daryl Dixon Fanfiction.]

Nothing.

a/n: back writing on my laptop, whoop. i literally got like two and a half hours sleep last night and i'mpretty sure one hour was like that weird half asleep, have awake sleep cause i had a dream about lukehemmings having a large cartoon whale (who's name was lub lub) in my bedroom and i started laughing in my dream and then i was laughing in my sleep and i woke up and my friend was looking at me as if i was insane. (2019 update, every now and again i remember this dream and honestly it was so funny lmao)

anyways. 

i should be dying but i'm not. so here's the next update as promised cause ye'r comments made my life and put me in a really good mood and now i'm going to crush all your dreams.

soz babes.

p.s warning feels

#~#~#~#

The tears that had been falling slowly stop, the anger fades and the pain ebbs away quietly as two strong arms wrap themselves around my torso and pull me back against the owner.

I stay silent, not daring to ruin the only bit of peace I've had in months. The only bit of comfort. But my mind is back working at it's evil plans to ruin me as it starts to piece together who the boy behind me is, and what he's done to me. 

Why it's his fault I tore my arms to shreds to block out the emotional pain, how it's his fault that I wore a tacky dress to a party I didn't want to go to, how it's his fault I nearly let myself be raped in the parking lot. 

Well, more so his brothers than his. (lulsozbaes)

I turn and shove Merle off of me.

"No. No. NO." I say more to myself than to him. "Get out! GET OUT! I swear to god Merle Dixon get out of my god damn bedroom!" I roar.

Merle takes a step back, shocked and surprised. "MERLE LEAVE!"

"Thena, what's wrong?"

"No, you lost the right to call me 'Thena' a long time ago mister, so fuck off and get out of my room!" The tears are back and so are the questions, the mess in my mind re-forming and re-tangling it's self. But he still doesn't leave.

"Jesus Christ Merle do I have to spell it out for you!" 

I storm forward and shove him out of the room, I slam the door shut and fumble with the key in the lock and twist it twice hearing the lock finally click into place.

I turn and stare at the broken mirror for a second. My face is stained with make up and tears, my hair has fallen out of shape and I'm not even wearing a shirt. My arms are on full show for the whole world to see. 

I stare at them now, the words carved into them like it was nothing at the time. It means nothing now. I turn my eyes down and scan over the letters.

"Worthless." I trace the letters, breavingheavilly. 

"Ugly." My eyes flick up and scan my face that I've hated with a vengance since I was fourteen.

"Fuck up." Which couldn't be closer to the truth.

"Un-loved." 

I stare at the last word recently scratched into my arm to prove a point to myself that I was failing to see. The demons were back and even though one of my knight in shining armours were right outside the door, he couldn't help me. I couldn't help me.

He was the reason they attacked. I was the reason they stayed. 

I turn slowly almost in a daze, my mind blurred and my fingers tingling with anticipation. I gulp needing the release, needing the pain to subdue anything else muddling in my mind.