And Then There Was You [h.s]

Chapter Forty-Six

The reattachment of my body and emotion felt like the completion I had been searching for all these years. I was always chasing some sort of high; I would've done anything to feel something again, even if only temporary. But in that moment, as I laid there, engulfed in Harry's warm embrace, I knew this was the high I had been searching for. The feeling of belonging, the feeling of purpose, the feeling of vulnerable happiness and being fearfully in love, the understanding that pain and sadness are only a temporary time lapse in this long cycle of life: These are the untolds of life that I had needed all along. I was finally free yet bound to the belief that life does get better. I understood now. I understood that the past thirteen years of anguish and unhappiness and emotional numbness were purposeful in guiding me to Him. He was worth the wait. He was worth the pain. He was the missing piece.

How was it possible that the one thing that'd set me free was the one thing I was running from this whole time? I had for so long, too long, feared the things that were only pleading for me to get better. I didn't know why I had fallen victim to ignorance so long; it's symptoms were anything but blissful. But now, right here, right in this moment, I could stop holding my breath. I could stop waiting for karma. I could stop hiding from fate. I could stop being broken. I could be whole again.

"I'm proud of you," Harry murmured, replying to the words that were spoken only in my head. His arms tightened around me and I wouldn't deny them. I molded my body closer to his, if that were even possible. We laid there, just two entities, once caught in bad habits, searching for the parts of us which had been taken away, now becoming complete as we held each other in our arms.

I was done being Logan Sedona, the girl who pushes everyone away. I was done being the girl who purposely hurt others. The girl who found pleasure in others' misery. I didn't want to be the girl who didn't cry, who didn't care, who didn't feel. I wanted to be the girl who loved.

Harry didn't make me weak. Me feeling the deeper, difficult emotions didn't make me weak. Me holding onto my past, burying my hurt by inflicting it on others... that's what made me weak. That's what ate away at me for thirteen years, destroying any chance I had of becoming whole again.

I understood life now in the clearest way.

"Can you make some breakfast? I'm starving," I asked. Without question he unravelled his arms from my body, reaching up to the sky to stretch out the tension from cuddling me for eight hours straight. I nonchalantly admired his bare chest and the black ink that colored it. I once envied the butterfly marked on his chest, but now I had become her. Metamorphosis couldn't possibly be limited to butterflies.

Was I fooling myself? Was it all too good to be true? Was I, Logan Sedona, was getting a happy ending? It seemed a little premature to celebrate just yet. Maybe I didn't complete metamorphosis after all. Maybe I was still stuck in chrysalis, wrapped in a warm, safe cocoon that was convincing enough to make me believe that I had reached my final stage. Maybe I still had time to spare before I blossomed into something... unpredictable.

However, I had no interest in lamenting over the thought for too long; Hunger proved to be more relevant. "You mean lunch?" Harry snorted, grazing his hand against my cheek. "No, Harold, I meant breakfast. You know, the most important meal to begin your day?"

"Except that a normal person's day probably would've started around five hours ago. It's nearly one in the afternoon,"

"No way," I gasped. I reached for my phone in disbelief and checked the time: 12:58 p.m. Unfortunately for me, that wasn't the only startling thing that popped up on the iridescent screen. Five unopened texts from Kristen. I knew what they were about, or at least had a feeling but, to be sure...