Chapter Twenty-Nine: Part Two

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 TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE

The house was grand; nearly unfathomable. It was too spacious to fit into my exasperated mind as I searched for words to describe such a perfect house. Large, glass windows stained every side of the house while alabaster walls grew tall, creating a perfect, modernistic mansion. Hardwood flooring flowed through the structure, contrasting against the bright chandelier in the hall. The whole house was almost out of an exquisite, illustrious movie, painting a false picture of what Harry's childhood was truly like.

I walked behind Harry, taking in the stunning interior before gripping his arm. "Harry," I began. "Hm?" he responded, snapping out of his fatigued state of mind. I waited for Anne to walk away from us before I decided to continue. This place that was about to become a fucking crime scene if I didn't get the answers I wanted. I let my expression speak for me, and when he noticed my furrowed brows and tightened jaw, he said, "Let's go upstairs first,"

The walk up the spiral staircase to our room felt longer than the flight we both had endured. I had too many questions running wild in my head and I knew better than to filter them. It'd be a thoughtless battle if I tried to.

I ignored my trepidations and spoke freely once we entered the guest room. "You never told me about your dad."

"As I said, it's because you never asked,"

"Should I ask you in the morning, then? Maybe when you're not being such a dick?"

"Logan," his tonality was harsh.

"Don't 'Logan' me. I'm sick of you hounding me for not telling you anything when you've been hiding just as much as me. You're a fucking hypocrite,"

"What did you just say?" He hissed, stepping closer to me. Kristen's earlier warnings flew from my mind, and as of now, I could no longer remember them.

"I said you're a hypocrite," I seethed. It didn't matter how much I cared for or liked Harry, I would never back down from a challenge. I wouldn't be threatened or afraid, and Harry didn't receive a special 'get-out-of-hell-free' card just because we were dating. I extended niceties to no one, especially when they didn't deserve them. And, as far as I knew, Harry was the least deserving.

 "Oh yeah?" he was spiteful, viridian eyes searching for ways to exploit my weaknesses. If I hadn't been through so much shit within my twenty-one years of living, I might've been able to fear Harry's retaliation. My only fear was that I'd say something I'd never be able to take back. Or worse, he'd say something I'd never let him take back. "Maybe I would tell you shit if you didn't always have to make things about you!" His voice was violent; it rattled the room walls and the ribcage that guarded my heart.

"Make things about me?!" I yelled, my face only inches from his. "I never make things about me!"

"Everything is about you! I'm always having to worry about how you'll react to things I'll say or do! I always have to make sure I don't overstep your boundaries because you're so fucking guarded about everything! You're a fucking mess, Logan! You can't even talk about your mother without-"

"Stop!" I screamed, my voice a shrill of fear and malice. My hands acted on my vicious intentions; I placed them feverishly on Harry's gruff shoulders, shoving him and driving him backwards into the wall.

I had never been a violent person. My words alone did more damage than physical harm could ever make. Two weekends ago I pinned Sally to the floor and spit on her face. Today I pushed my boyfriend back into a wall. I didn't know who I was becoming. I thought I was getting better, but I was only getting worse.

He was stunned, I was stunned. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to even fucking look at him. I tried to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him. "Harry, I'm-" I began to sob, dropping to my knees as some sort of plea. In combination with the tiresome flight, the confusing talk of love, the mention — or lack thereof— of Harry's father, and the mention of my mother, I began to fall victim to my emotions. It was hard to keep in so much, I was fucking sick of it. I used to commend my ability to conceal things so far beneath me, but now I couldn't. I didn't want to. It only ended up hurting people. It only ended up hurting me.

"Sh, baby," he cooed, lowering himself on the floor. His calloused fingers caressed my face lightly, begging for me to look at him. "I didn't mean to, I-" "I know," he silenced me, kissing my forehead slowly. I had never cried in front of any of my boyfriends before. Hell, I never fucking cried in front of anyone. For the first time in years, I had cried openly with someone, and it was Him. Why the fuck was I crying so much? I hated it; I hated my newfound vice. "Come here," he requested softly, though his arms drew me closer on command. I fell into his embrace, trying to quiet the noise in my head. "I didn't mean what I said, okay? You're not a mess," I was comforted by his words, even if I knew he was lying.

"I tried to beat the shit out of you a minute ago and now I'm on my knees, crying. I'd say that's cognate to 'mess',"

He chuckled, finding humor in the harsh reality. "Keeps things interesting, don't you think?"

I gulped, swallowing my sobs, "I never realized how much of a mess I was until I met you,"

His eyes swirled with a sort of wonder, drawing me to add, "Why?"

"Because I force you to feel things you're opposed to feeling. You were so cold in January when we first met. I'd often compare you to ice," he pushed strings of hair from my tiresome face as he continued, "I know it's safer to be as cold and distant, but you'll never truly become happy until the ice melts away. It's starting to, though, I can tell,"

His belief in me never ceased to amaze me. I hadn't known what I had done to deserve such faith, but I knew better than to question it.

"I'm happy now," I swallowed my pride, admitting, "I'm happy with you."

"Good," he smiled. "You're my Happiness,"

I nuzzled myself closer to him, letting the barrier of ice melt between us as I replied, "You're my Happiness."

And if She was ice, He needed a much bigger flame to burn her past. 

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Hello everyone! Here's part two. I realized recently it's probably best to upload parts one and two together. I know how annoying it can be to wait for the second part lmao. 

WE'RE LIKE HALFWAY THROUGH THIS BOOK! It's incredible to think that just two years ago I had come up with this idea for a book, not believing I'd ever be able to continue with it. Seeing how far I've come, WE'VE come, it's just... I don't know. It's crazy to me. 

Anyway, I'm excited to see where we go from here. And we're so close to 4k reads ayeeeee!!!! I'm so happy! I was wondering if I should do a Q&A or something? Maybe a face reveal? Lemme know your thoughts yall 

Love you guys. Seriously. I love all of you. 

I'll update soon, please feel free to vote and comment!


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