𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘚𝘐𝘕 / 𝘋𝘈𝘔𝘐𝘈𝘕𝘖 𝘋𝘈𝘝𝘐𝘋

XII

måneskin — le parole lontane

All negative emotions connect. For example, if the person doesn't show his anger, he probably would have depression. 

As Victoria does.

"I don't want to live with you anymore!" yelled the girl raising her hands to her head and squeezing the temples.

It was another Victoria's quarrel with Malvina. The last tried to calm the son down, but he seemed like he's not going to sleep and want to continue playing with his mother.

"You're running away from responsibility again!" in the same way responded Mal, hugging her son in her hands while the blonde was taking her stuff for leaving.

"I'll never back to this house anymore!" Vic'd closed a door with a loud noise scarring Yucub.

Life with Malvina was hell for the blonde because of everything, every detail of their daily routine was a huge pain for Victoria, who tried so hard to be an example for Yucub, stay happy, stay alive. It was a night, rain and pain, again, the girl was walking under a hard rainfall and wind, she bit her lower lip taking a cigarette from her jeans' pocket and smoking. Vic is so sick and tired of being alone, even in a relationship with Mal, she was alone, so long farewell she's on her own.

She dug this grave and call it home¹

Her life doesn't mean that much to her, all the girl's doing is living for Mal and her child, she's lost any pleasure of her life, music, love. It was a tremendous grey world where she was Gregor Samsa. Victoria was walking down the street, she was wasting her time on useless things, just watching the days pass hoping to die. She's faded and lost. Then she raised her eyes noticing the remarkable neon signboard of a club, one of a few in this city, sighing heavily the girl threw out the cigarette and went to the entrance. The pungent smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and sweat hit her nose, Victoria doesn't often go to clubs, so she cannot get used to this aroma in any way. A crowd of merry people stood near the bar and waited for their drinks from the bartender, another stood near the DJ and danced to remixes of modern songs, several more naked girls danced near the poles. The blonde decided to drink a strong drink, so with a quick step, bypassing those present, she went to another bartender, who was farther than everyone else. "Whiskey," the girl had to try to shout over the music, but the young guy nodded in understanding and began to pour liquid into the glass and add ice. Alcohol and some pills helped blur the border with the real world and not see it so clearly, every detail. With each sip, thoughts ceased to torment Victoria so much, the emotions and adrenaline that developed after the quarrel with Malvina were replaced by relaxation and a feeling of instant carelessness. The girl had already managed to take off her jacket and hang it on the back of one of the bar stools, absolutely not worrying about it, and went out onto the dance floor, surrendering to the music.

In the crown the blonde found Dette, she was dancing and laughing too, but it was such a different smile, she didn't try to pretend everything's fine. Esposito looked happy because she was having fun, not like Victoria, who smiled and drank alcohol to drown out her spiritual emptiness.

"Hey," Bernadette said, coming closer and kissed the blonde on her cheek as a token of greeting, "are you here alone?" she asked loudly.

"Yes," Victoria nodded. Dette immediately noticed that the girl in front of her was very staggering and shaking, unlike the rest of the guys in their company, Esposito didn't have a strong craving for alcohol, so she didn't drink often and a little. Despite the strong and characteristic smell of sweat and cigarettes, the brunette smelled the alcohol that Vic had drunk before.