Soonhoon

Chapter 2

Year 2018 ,
I curse the moment I jinxed myself when I said that I'll surely have a moment in the future to talk to him. Three years have passed and I still haven't talked to him even once. And even worse we are in different classes now.
But over the years I figured some things out. First, Doekyom is officially one of my best friends now. Second, I have the biggest crush on Lee Jihoon. And third, I was going to keep it with me forever and ever until my last breath.
I knew what I had wasn't good. Liking a boy wasn't something normal and that was made clear last year when Seungkwan was found with the Vernon boy. Nobody knows what happened that day or how they were found out. But that day in the morning eight'o clock was the last real laugh I'd ever heard from him.
Now Seungkwan sits at the last bench where Jihoon used to sit and stares out of the window the same way he did. He doesn't talk to me anymore. As if avoids me.
The only people who he responded to was Vernon who I hated with passion for taking away my best friend and rarely sometimes with Jihoon. And I hated it. Both of them.
And Jihoon just nods his head once in whole when Doekyom or Seungkwan passed by in the corridors. But didn't even acknowledge my existence. It's not that I've never been ignored or rejected before. But I wanted Jihoon to look at me.
It made me feel helpless when smiley girls kept confessing and making moves on him. Jihoon was extremely popular when he transferred. The whole year nearly all the juniors and some of the seniors had a crush on him. Some of the boys did too and weren't hesitant to show it until Seungkwan and Vernon were rumored to be dating and Vernon got in a big fight and Seungkwan distanced us.
And I felt like telling them off everytime I saw them putting chocolates on his desk, confession letters in his lockers and tucking behind a strand of hair while smiling shyly at him all the while. The only relief was that he was never interested in them. But he wasn't interested in me too. So it made me and the girls even. But at least they could be open about their feelings. I couldn't. I didn't want people to avoid me like they did to Seungkwan. I didn't want to stop smiling and distance myself from my friends. I didn't want to be bullied. But my biggest fear was to be avoided by Jihoon. It didn't bother me that he didn't like me as much as him hating me did.
But deep inside I knew I couldn't get over him easily. Because he was my first love anyway and I never confessed.
After a lot of thinking I made a life changing decision. I was going to try once before giving up on him. The boy who was just 164cm tall kept disrupting my thoughts and made a permanent spot in my world.