Soonhoon

Chapter 6

It was awkward as we walked back home together. If it was three years ago, we would be eating each other's ears off as we walked back home. But now no one dared to break the silence.
Seungkwan stared at his feet. And I looked around casually. We lived beside each other but didn't go back home together in the last three years. Or even saw each other there.
"You seem close with Lee Jihoon." I said out of nowhere. I don't know what came over me but I said it without thinking.
He was surprised to say the least. "Not really." He managed to say. "Why?"
I shook my head staring forward. We were just a few houses away from our destination. I had to keep being normal until then.
"Just...He doesn't talk to anyone other than you." I  shrugged. "Is it a loner's thing?"
He smiled a little. "Something like that."
And before I knew it I again opened my uncontrollable mouth. "Or the self centered ones?" I said gritting my teeth. I pushed the gate open of my house as I stepped inside. He stood before it confused. "Anyway you look good together. Misery loves company." And I ended it with a sweet. "You should go home." And closed the Gate on his face.
I couldn't turn back to see if he went or not. I ran upstairs to my room quickly ignoring my dad and Hyung who were about to ask me something. I shut the door and locked it.
And now my tears were out. Three years of trying not to let it affect me I cried for the first time because I missed my best friend. The one who pulled my hair when I called him a loser, the one who sold me to a classmate for a fruit eraser in nursery. But also the one who had most of my childhood with him.
I looked at the window that I hadn't opened for three years now. The one that showed his room. It was just a few meter away. It was him who shut his window first. But me who didn't open it after.
I was a mess. My eyes were puffy and my nose runny. If I was a little more louder than I was sure Seungkwan could easily hear me from the window.
I jumped a little when I heard a snort. It wasn't that loud but enough to startle me in a silent room. I inched closer to the window and heard the slight sobbing sounds. Seungkwan? Was he crying too? Seungkwan couldn't cry slowly. Unlike most people he makes a lot of noise when he cries and snorts a lot too.
I pulled the curtain to try to sneak a glance but three years ignorance was taking a revenge on me. I couldn't see anything. The dust had sticked too much to even get a silhouette of anything across. But there was light from the other side. And that could only be his because I hadn't turned the lights on. There was no chance of opening the window because it would be struck anyway. And I didn't have the courage to face him and ask what was wrong or explain why I was miserable. And more than anything how much I wanted him back with me. How I had no idea why he became so distant that he was unreachable now.
I closed the curtains back. I could pretend there was nothing wrong and go back to being happy tomorrow. I had the sunshine of our school as my best friend, Doekyom. There was no chance I could be sad anyway. Staying near happiness should automatically make you happier right?
"Hoshi?" My mom knocked on the door. I wiped my tears and cleared my throat.
"What?" I asked in a hoarse voice.
She was quite for a moment, maybe wondering about my voice. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. Then I remembered she couldn't see me. "Yeah. Do you need something?"
"Just wanted to talk." She said softly. "Should I come later?" And I felt so lucky to have her as my mom. No wonder Jeonghan Hyung was so soft. He was totally like our mom,a comfortable place.
I unlocked the door and sat on the edge of my single bed. She approached me slowly and sat down when I didn't shy away.
"I saw Seungkwan outside when I was coming in." I hummed in response. "Did you guys make up?"
I shrugged nonchalantly. "Make up for what?"
"Your fall out?" She said cupping my cheeks,slightly pressing them.
"It happens between friends mom." I got out from her grip and laid down. My eyes automatically trailed the star stickers. They were the only shining objects in the dark room except for the open door.
Mom laid down beside me and stared at the ceiling. "I've never seen the actual sky like this."
I nodded. "We should go camping someday."
"At my age? I can hardly go to the grocery store." She scoffed.
"Oh come on. You're barely in your forties."
"47,Hoshi." She reminded me.
"But you're still pretty because you're my mom."
We both sat up in shock at the voice.
"When did you come?" I yelled.
Jeonghan Hyung grinned. "Just now. Come on lay down back. The stars are pretty." He practically forced mom back down making me agree too.
"I'm sure pretty." Mom said with pride. "My colleagues keep telling me I look like a newly wed." I snorted.
"Shut up." They said in unison as they glared at me.
"Alright, geez." I raised my hands in surrender. "But you're pretty."
"Yup. Thanks to me you both are good looking." She scoffed. We giggled at the pointless joke.
"Mom." I called. "Can you tell someone to clean the window tomorrow? I can barely see beyond it. And the window is struck too."
"Did you finally end your cold war?" Jeonghan asked curiously.
"No. But I will soon." I smiled to myself.