Soonhoon

Chapter 4

"Have you completed the social science project? Gotta submit it tomorrow." Doekyom asked.
"Yup. What about you?" I asked causally.
"Not really." He sighed. "But I have a favor to ask you."
"Sure." I shrugged.
"I...Umm...I need your project." He said hesitantly.
I frowned at him. "We don't have the same topics, Doekyom."
He nodded as he looked around before leaning in. "I know. There is someone who has your topic and needs your project."
"Doekyom." I started. "What is it that you exactly want? The only person who has this topic in this class is me."
"It's for somebody else." He said scratching his neck. "For a friend..."
"We have the same friends. Why didn't he ask me?" I asked folding my hands. He was acting suspicious.
"Okay fine. It's Lee Jihoon okay?!" He sighed. "But he doesn't want others to know."
"How do you know him?" I asked surprised. I almost felt betrayed. But at the same time excited.
"Just. We live in the same neighborhood." He gave a lame excuse. "So what do you say?"
I had to play it cool. "Sure. But will he be able to  complete till tomorrow?"
"Yup. He sleeps and skips most of the class but still ranks among the top five in our grade. Don't worry about it." He assured.
"Fine then." I shrugged. "Tell him to meet me at the library then after school."
"A-alright then." He smiled, nervously
One last class and school would be over. I was nervous, excited and most of all hopeful.
I wanted this anticipation to finish but at the same time give myself a few more minutes before I was ready to meet him. There wasn't any chance of him having any feelings, not even platonic. Yet I wanted to have a closure.
I rushed to the rest room after school. Hair, good. Do I stink? Not much. Uniform? Alright.
I was ready.
I rushed to the library. I had imagined the perfect scenario for today. Me and Lee Jihoon sitting beside each other. I could stare at him for the whole time as he gratefully completes him work before me.
But the busy library gave told me something else. There were nearly no tables that were empty. All the students were completing the work today.
All the tables had either one or two seats free except one. The whole table was empty except the school's infamous loners, Seungkwan and Hansol Sunbae.
There wasn't much choice anyway. I walked to the last table and cleared my throat. Seungkwan was surprised as he raised his head and turned towards me. Hansol Sunbae didn't care much but just looked at Seungkwan. I envied them. He could look at Seungkwan with heart eyes. He was brave and had what he wanted. But at what price I knew.
"There are no other seats. Can I sit here?" I asked formally. It felt weird. Almost like crying as I asked that to a person who used to live in my house like it was his until two years ago. Someone who almost owned me.
The air was awkward. Seungkwan nodded lightly and gestured me to sit down. I thanked him and took my project out. They both went back to their work. Vernon was oblivious to the tension in the air. Seungkwan was doing a good job pretending. Or did he really not care? But thank god the library wasn't as quite as usual. And the librarian didn't seem to mind today.
"Hoshi." Doekyom said a bit too loudly bringing the attention of everyone on me. The people who didn't see me before now started whispering. And I could clearly hear them.
"Are they back together?"
"Nah. Look at the gap. They're not even talking."
"The place is full too. Maybe because there aren't any other places."
"It must be uncomfortable."
Before I could hear more Doekyom and Lee Jihoon sat near down. Lee Jihoon sat across me and Doekyom beside him. There was one seat gap between me and Seungkwan who sat at the end of the table. And Vernon at the head of the table.
My head turned to look at Seungkwan just once but I moved fast when our eyes met. Was he looking at me too? Why would he? But in the brief moment I got the glimpse of me I saw how much he'd grown up. His cheeks were still chubby but his features were a bit more prominent. He was still cute. He was like a younger brother to my family. Jeonghan Hyung especially loved our chubby cheeks when we were kids.
"Hey." I smiled.
Jihoon looked at Doekyom as if asking for permission. Doekyom nodded gesturing at me with his chin. It infuriated me. He is close with everyone I know. Not just me.
"Thank you for lending me your project." He said as he eyes the file before me. But I didn't have it in me to call him our for his rude behavior. Like a blind person in love I smiled at him with heart eyes that he didn't even notice.
"You're welcome." I passed him the file that he quickly took out and started writing it down.
"Is it the social studies one?" Seungkwan asked not taking his eyes off his work.
"Yeah." Jihoon replied. Everybody seemed relaxed and familiar except me. The only person I knew here was Doekyom and he didn't seem to mind anything. Seungkwan and Doekyom had got along for the few months Seungkwan was with us. They weren't exactly close so they didn't mind the awkwardness. The real deal was between me and the others. I was nervous in front of my crush, awkward with my ex-childhood best friend and intimidated by the Hansol Sunbae who missed the little bow I gave him when I came inside, making it embarrassing for me. I assumed he didn't get many bows from the juniors so he didn't expect much from me either.
And this is how my first date was ruined by awkwardness.